MS System Center Config Manager 2007 Tips for Deploying AutoCAD 2011 Products and other stuff as if this isn’t the ridiculously long title from the top of my pointy little head

Tip 1 – Package the Deployment in Accordance with Autodesk Guidelines

Use the Deployment utility to build a proper image.  I mean “proper” with respect to how Autodesk recommends building it.  And before you ask, because I get asked this all the time: NO, you do NOT have to grant any additional permissions to the share beyond READ-ONLY for users and computers UNLESS you chose to use a network log.  In that case, you only need to grant Change permissions to the account used to run your installations.  Do NOT grant Change permissions to “Domain Users”.

Build it.  Test it.  Rebuild it if necessary.  Test it again.  Repeat until ready.

Tip 2 – Fix the Package so it Works Properly

Then there’s the whole stupid-ass DirectX 9.0c issue.  So you will need to re-package the DirectX 9.0c components FOR EACH AUTODESK PRODUCT you intend to deploy via Config Manager, but the deployments won’t deploy with DirectX 9.0c and that causes the deployments to undeploy or de-deploy or whatever.  I’ve already blogged on this point, so go search back for what this is about and best of luck to you.  It works.  It’s just stupid as shit that a billion-dollar company touts support for Config Manager deployments and then doesn’t really make it work.

Tip 3 – Tweak the Advertisement

After you create the Package (do NOT use the Autodesk guidance here, make it manually), and create the Programs and edit the Program options (disable notifications, for example), then create the Advertisement and assign it to a null/blank/empty/unused collection until you’re ready to rock-n-roll.  Make sure you review the Advertisement settings and adjust them to suit your environment, your SLA terms with your users, your schedules (scheduled backups, scans, diagnostics, reports, etc.), and your sanity.

Tip 4 – Distribution Points are Important

AutoCAD 2011 products, like previous versions, are no toothpick wagon.  They’re pretty hefty deployments.  Several gigabytes of files that need to be pulled across the LAN and cached on the local hard drive to be extracted, expanded, exfoliated, expatriated and all that good stuff.  Make sure you took the time to place your distribution points and shares within close proximity (as it pertains to LAN throughput) to keep the traffic as localized to the targets as possible and avoid killing other LAN segments (assuming you have a WAN).  If you don’t have multiple locations then pop open a cold one and enjoy the freedom of not having to spend half your life managing that kind of mess.

Tip 5 – Baby Steps

Absolutely DO NOT push a big package like AutoCAD 2011 to all of your targets at once.  Even if it’s only going to 10 desktops, push it to 1 or 2 first.  Make sure that works.  Even better: Before pushing to any production computers, push it to a test computer (I push to a VM test computer as a standard practice).  Verify the results and move forward if all is well.

Tip 6 – Watch Out for Unplanned Restarts

If you don’t suppress reboots in the package and program options, you better make sure to set the post-install behavior in the Advertisement to suit.  Otherwise you will get some unclear or inaccurate results in your web reports.  I always disable/suppress reboots and capture the result code. 

Just keep in mind that if you choose to ignore the DirectX issue, your failed installations will still report “Successful” to SCCM and you will go off on a happy hour drinking binge, only to get a late night phone call that goes something like “Hey man, your deployments all failed.  You suck!!!”  That can lead to profuse vomiting like the back-alley scene in Team America (I love that scene by the way).

Tip 7 – Don’t Rush!

Take your time and be careful to document (take notes) what you’ve done.  It will help you with subsequent deployments for other Autodesk products (if you may have others).  If nothing else, it can save your ass months later when your network crashes and your backups don’t work and you bring the sleeping bag and spend all weekend rebuilding the network from scratch and you need to recreate the packages at 3:00 AM on Sunday.  Don’t laugh, I’ve seen that happen.

Tip 8 – Uhhh…

I forgot what 8 was going to be.  Oh well.  Seven tips should get you somewhere.  Seven days gets you to a weekend, right?

Software Packaging Tip: Adjusting Permissions

If you work within an environment where “users” are actually “users” and not Administrators of their computers, you will likely run into situations where some applications won’t function properly because the user doesn’t have permissions to modify the contents of certain folders or registry keys and values.

There are two basic tools for handling this and they’re both free and very easy to use, whether you prefer Wise, InstallShield, or good old fashioned scripting:

CACLS.exe (for files and folders)

REGINI.exe (for registry keys)

I won’t bother going into a lot of detail on these, because there’s tons of info already on the web for both of them, but they work and they work well.

In Wise, for example, you can edit your package to add a “Custom Action” to invoke either command.  CACLS is much easier to use because you just need to specify the file or folder you wish to modify, and then specify who gets what permissions to it. 

Example:

CACLS <path> <options> <user/group>:<permission>

CACLS “c:\acme” /T /E /C /G Users:C

The example above grants members of the local group “Users” the “Change” permission to C:\ACME and all sub-folders and files beneath it.  Keep in mind that if you need to specify a group name that has spaces in it, you need to wrap the name in double-quote (as shown below):

CACLS “c:\acme” /T /E /C /G “Domain Users”:C

There’s a good reference for this command at http://ss64.com/nt/cacls.html

REGINI on the other hand expects a file to be specified as the input to dictate which registry keys get what permissions.  Thankfully, with REGINI in particular, you can wrap all of it inside a script that writes its own input file.  With Wise you can then use the “Execute VBScript from Embedded” and wrap the .VBS file into the package itself.

Example:

regFile = “c:\windows\temp\reg.txt”
Set fso = CreateObject(“Scripting.FileSystemObject”)
Set f = fso.OpenTextFile(regFile, 2, True)
f.WriteLine “HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\ACME [1 5 7 11 17]”
f.Close
Set oShell = CreateObject("WScript.Shell")
oShell.Run "regini " & regFile, 8, true
f.Delete

This little bit of script creates the input file “reg.txt” in the TEMP folder beneath C:\WINDOWS, then uses the shell object to run REGINI.exe with the file input.  When it’s finished, it deletes the input file.  I adapted it from http://support.microsoft.com/?kbid=237607  so I can’t claim original authorship.  That other version is nice because they use the GetTempName method to generate a random filename instead of a static name, but that’s just fascinating for people with no life, like myself.

You can also do this very simply with a .BAT or .CMD script…

@echo off
echo HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\ACME [1 5 7 11 17] >%temp%\reg.txt
regini %temp%\reg.txt

The point is: you have options. And “free” options are always nice.

My final parting advice: NEVER give user administrative rights to their computers.  It’s an admission of failure.  Find out what specific things need to be opened up and do it selectively, and carefully.  If you don’t have time to do that, do you have time to mop up the mess they create from installing a dozen shareware applications, two dozen worms, trojans and viruses (or virii?)?  Saving time now may end up costing you five times that later.  When users bitch and moan (that’s what they do best, right?) push back.  Demand that they identify WHY they absolutely need admin rights.  Find out what things they need to modify, and WHY and then work from there.  Don’t just give them the keys and let them go.  That’s insane.  This method works fine. I do it all the time and so do hundreds of other IT folks.

I Believe…

• All men are not created equal.  That’s why Kobe can dunk, Peyton can throw, Slash can jam, and you suck ass.
• There will never be a Utopian future.  Mankind is too stupid to get that far.
• Most people really don’t know what they’re talking about.  But they do love talking a lot.
• Computers haven’t really saved us much cost or effort overall. They just shift the burden to other places.
• Humans weren’t made to drive cars.
• Nothing compliments a serious moment like cutting a fart.
• As much as you may refuse to believe: our world runs on coffee.
• People that read my stupidity need help.

IE9 vs Chrome: In my own words

They're getting very close in many ways, but after having been a die-hard Chrome user for several years, here's what I miss in IE9:

• Right-click "Paste and Go" in search boxes
• Right-click “Inspect element”
• Integration with Google Voice (hey, I use it a lot)
• The logic behind the new tab suggestions list doesn't jive with my "most used" and "most recent" sites for some reason (same on all four computers I've been using it on)
• Many sites, even parts of Facebook, use outdated CSS forks that look for "IE" and not versions, so they break rendering expecting IE6 or 7.  The "Write a Note" feature for example doesn't work properly until you click "Compatibility Mode" and refresh.  I'm sure it will get fixed as the beta runs along.
• As for the new tab suggestions, I prefer thumbnails over big icons. Just sayin’
• The taskbar “pinning” feature is nice, but hardly “new” since other apps (yes, even Chrome) have done that for a while already.

But... I really like the new UI overall. The new downloads management feature is great.  The "less is more" UX is borrowed from Webkit (Chrome, and Safari, sort of) but overdue.  The speed is much better than IE7 or IE8 and on par with Chrome 6.x and FF4.  I'd like to see customizable right-click features (a la Windows "Send To" and task bar pinning API's) but those too may be forthcoming.  The add-on “accelerators” are becoming very useful, finally. Akin to Google Chrome’s “extensions” (which they borrowed from Firefox), they allow you to extend and customize the browser.

I have to admit I’ve always liked IE’s options features.  That sounds redundant.  Hmmm..  But the “less-is-more” stuff is only viable for the main interface.  When it comes to configuring things, I like shitloads of buttons, checkboxes, listboxes, sliders, spinners, bells and whistles.  That’s just me.  I mean, really, if you poke your head into the flight cabin of your next airplane ride and it looks like an iPod (one button) wouldn’t feel a bit uncomfortable?  We all feel better seeing that massive field of buttons, dials and knobs and levers.  It conveys “control”.  That’s what an “options” console should convey also.  Just sayin’.

One thing that Chrome annoys me with is when I right-click and press “R” expecting “Refresh” (yes, I know about F5), while it works in IE, it means “Print” in Chrome.  Doh!

Who Would I Vote For?

Just for the record, there have only been two people in my lifetime that I would vote for prez-o-dent:  George Carlin or Dave Chappell.  Sadly, George has left us.  I suspect Dave wouldn’t want the job.  So…

How to Translate Politician Speeches

When they Say…	It Really Means…
I’m going to go to Washington and change they way they do business!	I’m going to dive into a gigantic mob of people that will never give me 5 seconds of listening.
I have a plan to ____	I have absolutely no plan at all.  It’s just lip service to get you excited.
I will get the lobbyists out of government!	I have absolutely no understanding of how government works.
I’m going to stop special interest groups!	I am a complete idiot.  I will do whatever they say as soon as they apply pressure.
I will create jobs and get Americans back to work.	It sounds great, but I really don’t know how to do that when the jobs will make things nobody will buy, because they don’t have jobs to afford to buy the stuff.
I will get America off of foreign energy dependence.	I hate Canada so bad, I will repeat the same crap that every candidate has promised since 1971.
I will fix health care.	I can walk on water too.
I will reduce or eliminate our deficit.	I can walk on water too.
Education is my top priority.	Until the lobbyists get hold of me.
I am an independent!	I do whatever my party tells me to do.
I will fix our failing infrastructure.	Right after I meet with the lobbyists and special interest groups.
I will reduce taxes	I will cut and eliminate programs you need or that will risk our nations security.
I will raise taxes	I am committing political suicide.
I will help senior citizens	I don’t give a **** about senior citizens, but it makes me sound affectionate and compassionate.
I’m going to work hard for you!	But only during the time I’m actually at work, which is only half of the year.  The other half I will be golfing with lobbyists and special interest groups.

“Scoop the Poop” isn’t about Dog Shit. It’s Bullshit

I was walking my Beagle on the beach last weekend and for whatever reason (ok, I know the reason, but let’s just move along) she had to stop and drop a load in the sand.  This is on the “North Beach” area, which is one of the THE most sparse places on the shore of Virginia Beach.  I can typically count every human in sight on one hand.  My dog finishes, I scooped a hole, nudged it in and buried it.  Within seconds, some middle-aged white guy runs up and smiles and says “you should pick that up, you know.”  Problem is I didn’t have a baggie, nor any gloves, nor a shovel, nor a God damned care in the F***ing world to go with it.

I said “whatever.” and started to walk on in the direction I was already going.  He started walking beside me, continues trying to make his point and save the planet Earth for all living creatures.

“If you leave that, some child will dig into it.”

I said “with the daily tides, it will be long dissolved and gone by morning.”

“Well, it creates an E-Coli problem for the beach water.”

I said “really?!  ONE DOG can do ALL THAT?”

“Well, if everyone felt that way, then…”

“Then what? You’re saying I can control or influence what every other dog owner does on this beach?!  Really?!  And by the way:  It takes quite a bit more ‘fecal matter’ to create enough E Coli quantity in parts-per-million before beach swimmers would have to worry.”

“It’s just bad for the environment” (with an obnoxious shrug and smile)

“So are you.”

Which brings me to this quasi-scientifc hypothesis:

Assuming that the quantity of “wildlife”, particularly fur-covered mammals, was higher in the years prior to mankind arriving, how did the environment ever survive their massive quantities of fecal matter?  If the conditions have changed such that the non-human mammal count has been DRASTICALLY reduced from 1500 to 2010, and the human population has increased from 4 or 5 to 437,000, well, gee, I wonder what factor has led to environmental impact?  Hmmmm… Finger’s tapping, staring up to the left or right.

Now, let me say that I don’t think anyone wants dog poop laying around on sidewalks and streets.  But on “nature trails” and secluded beaches I say: Dogs! Drop your loads!

Oh, and by the way, all along this particular area of beach are wild foxes living in the dunes.  Who picks up their droppings?  How much damage are they creating for the environment?  This whole thing reminds of a South Park episode.   Sometimes I wish a pack of dogs would dig a big hole and bury these idiot dumbasses and save our mental environment.

Oh yeah, I forgot…

To provide an example of “mean guitar” as it pertains to Brian Setzer.  Enjoy!

Just For Fun

I’ve always like Brian Setzer, just because he refuses to “fit in”.  He also plays a mean guitar.  This is just fun to watch (and I wish I could dance like that)

Does Anyone Else See the Irony here?

Have you seen the Droid commercials on TV and on the web?  There’s one that shows the sucky-ass lame-o razor shadow dude in the fake staff meeting and he whips out his Droid to do some gnarly-ass texting on roids (get it?  Droids on Roids? heh heh…).  Then the other one with the guy watching the movie and his eye (iris actually) turns into some Kodak aperture aparatus.  I almost said asparagus, but I didn’t.  Oh yeah.

Only problem is that who decided that robotic/android/mechanized crap is somehow “superior” to human tissue?  Since when have we produce anything with the dexterity and adaptability of the human hand and fingers?  When has there ever been a camera or video receiver device that compares with the human eye?

NEVER.

So why the **** do we just sit back and nod in agreement when this crap airs, as if it somehow means it’s better to turn into a quasi machine?  Excuse me, but I’m sticking with good old flesh-n-blood.  I mean seriously, do you want to look at a robot in a bikini or Jenna Jameson in a bikini?  Case closed.

(by the way: no pun was intended with using “see” in the title, but it was fo-shizzle anyway, right?)

Meet the New Boss: Same as the Old Boss?

I love how people open their mouths to swallow anything and everything "their party" shovels into it. They close their jaw, chew on it for a while, swallow hard, and smile with joy, maybe even begging for more shovels of shit to swallow.

So a few years ago, the Bush administration was hauled out into a tomato bashing over the AT&T eavesdropping discovery. All the left-wing nutballs went into orgasmic spasms about how the right-wing nutballs were playing big brother and invading our privacy. The NSA and FBI were lambasted but ultimately it was laid at the doorstep of the administration's zeal over post 9-11 paranoia.

Today the news is about the Obama administration pushing for new measures to make it easier for government to implement "Internet wiretaps" to eavesdrop on cell phones (even Blackberries), email, instant messages, etc. So far, not a peep from the left-wing crowd. All is good. It seems it's not what is being done, but who is doing it. It seems that the entire Federal government is now vastly, HUGELY, more trustworthy and ethical since a new figurehead arrived in town. Wow!  I’m picturing that scene from Blazing Saddles.

What a smokescreen.  Politics is nothing more than a game of shiny objects to distract the idiots from realizing they’re being fisted.  There’s nothing new here.  Same story, different faces doing the talking.

Ways to Modify (or Destory) the Registry

Invoke regedit.exe with .REG file
Interfaces:          GUI, script
Access:                 Local or Remote
Benefits:              Simple
Caveats:               Exposes data in .REG file

WMI StdRegProv class
Interfaces:          Script, Application
Access:                 Local or Remote
Benefits:              Cloak/Obfuscate data, run hidden
Caveats:               Firewalls and Remote Registry services (remote), scripting knowledge

WSH RegRead, RegWrite, RegDelete methods
Interfaces:          Script, Application
Access:                 Local
Benefits:              Cloak/Obfuscate data, run hidden
Caveats:               No remote access

Wise/InstallShield Compiled EXE
Interfaces:          GUI or hidden, Script, Application
Access:                 Local
Benefits:              Cloak/Obfuscate data, run hidden
Caveats:               Requires Wise Package Studio or AdminStudio and some scripting knowledge

REG.exe command
Interfaces:          GUI, script (shell)
Access:                 Local or Remote
Benefits:              Simple and consistent
Caveats:               Exposes data in stream

Proprietary Utility
Interfaces:          GUI (usually), cmd shell (sometimes), API call (rarely)
Access:                 Local or Remote
Benefits:              Easy GUI layout and options (typically)
Caveats:               Vendor lock-in, updates, etc., may require .NET or JRE also

Manual (REGEDIT.exe)
Interfaces:          GUI
Access:                 Local
Benefits:              Familiar
Caveats:               Does not scale well

Group Policy Preferences
Interfaces:          GUI (GPMC MMC console)
Access:                 Active Directory via client-side processing
Benefits:              Simple to configure and mass-deploy
Caveats:               Requires Active Directory environment.  Connected clients (receive policy changes)

I’m sure there are others I overlooked, but who cares.  Isn’t this enough? I mean, come on. Really?!

Friday Rambling

Sit down.  Strap in.  Enjoy this ride to nowhere…

I need to unload my puny brain to make room for beer and Snyder’s Pretzel Pieces.  G*d d*mn those things are f***ing addictive!  No, they didn’t pay me to say that.  Right now, I could brush aside piles of the most addictive drugs on this planet just to get to my precious bags of those tasty friggin badass morsels of pure joy.  My favorites are the Honey Mustard & Onion, and the Buttermilk Ranch.  It’s a toss-up for me.  Actually, I have both bags opened in front of me, typing, with a tall, cold glass of some foreign beer who’s name I cannot pronounce.  Kind of hard to type with the pretzel coating sutck on my fnginers though… doh!!!

So, my Friday ended (so far) on a good note.  I managed to knock out some hairy tasks at work with a mix of scripting, pensive staring, chin rubbing and a solid dose of B-12.  Holy crap!  Did I mention what a double-dose of B-12 does to you on a good night’s sleep?  It’s like being tasered in the forehead while being held down with a 300 lb lineman wearing ice climbing boots on your face.  BOOM!  Coffee? No.  Tea?  Ha! 5-Hour  Energy Drink? Nope.  5 bottles of 5-Hour Energy Drink poured into a Monster drink with a shot of Red Bull?  Hardly, but that’s a nice try.  Mother Nature is amazing.  Daniel Tosh says she’s an old bitch trying to kill us, but I say she makes good stuff like honey, milk, sunrises and sunsets, and of course: vitamin B-12.  Bravo!

After years of installing and setting up SMS and System Center Config Mgr, I have finally crossed a threshold of being a “user” of it for almost 90 days now.  Drinking my own medicine has never tasted so good.  What an amazing product!  I liken this to being a Porsche mechanic, but only after years of working on them, finally getting to take one home to drive for a while.  Namaste Wally Mead!  (and your whole crew of course).  I’m glad I spent all those long days and nights on the beta programs.  I couldn’t say it then (NDA) but now I can finally say that I love the product.

I’m going to explode.  I need to slow down on the beer and pretzels…. whoa.

Listening to Sting’s Nothing Like the Sun at volume: 11.  I forgot how good it was.  It’s really good.  Even if I don’t care much for his “singing” voice.

Today hit low 90’s F and fair humidity.  The last hurrah of Summer 2010.  Tomorrow should be nice, and then Sunday brings some rain and big drop in temperatures for the coming week.  I will probably be offline until at least Sunday afternoon or evening.  I have to wring out every last drop of Summer, my favorite season of the year.

Fall is nice, but I know what it leads to.  Spring is ok, but it teases too much.  Virginia Spring’s are usually a few days long, mostly warm/cold/warm/cold and then it drops you like a big roller coaster crop into the heat of Summer.  I shouldn’t love the sunshine so much because I have freckles and I burn, but I can’t help it.  If you ever want to find my ugly ass in person, I’m usually in a handful of places like Fort Story Beach, Mount Trashmore Park, somewhere in Town Center, at the Barnes & Noble, or riding my bike on one of the busy roads between the ocean front, General Booth blvd, Dam Neck road, and Holland road.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a few beers calling me… (enjoy your weekend!)

Pompous Pontification or Pointless Preponderance?

Should I continue to post semi-technical, quasi-business, pseudo-pundit advice and “tips” or just continue with the pointless trivial stuff about videos, jokes and whatever?  Sometimes, ok, most of the time, I read my pontifications and I fight the urge to divest my ingestibles. But then someone posts a comment and I think maybe it’s worth another one.  I don’t know.  I’m shooting in the dark.  The name fits.

You be the judge.

Who Needs to Automate?

I forgot to elaborate on one of the arguments I’ve heard about automation.  That argument is: who stands to benefit most from IT automation, big or small companies?

Small companies

Big companies are usually hamstrung by Step 2 (broken processes).  As one of my former colleagues used to say “If you automate a broken process, you have a broken automated process”.  It’s kind of like HDTV.  Say what?  Yes, it’s like the pores on actors’ skin.  If you’re going to do long-frame close-up shots on HDTV, you’d better have good skin.  Otherwise your audience is going to puke their dinners all over their nice flat panel TV screens.  If you intend to impress the audience with high quality detail, you better have high quality stuff to show the detail thereof.  Same for processes.  Don’t EVER think that shoehorning a broken process through an automation project will magically fix it.  It won’t.  It never does.  It never has.  I’ve been there and seen the ugliness done a hundred times. 

It boils down to human nature.  Human nature is fucked up.  It is.  Humans protect rice bowls and mini kingdoms.  They refuse to throw in the towel on a failed game plan.  They tie emotion to business when emotion belongs outside the office, usually in the parking lot or at Chili’s.  Big companies are rife with rice bowls, kingdoms, agendas, failed game plans, and politics galore.

Small companies are the last to consider automation, yet they are the perfect environment.  Small IT staff sizes, orchards of low-hanging fruit, tight budgets, fierce competition.  Exactly who needs to automate the shit out of their operations in order to stay afloat and man the guns for the battles ahead.  The cost-benefit ratio for a small business is enormously, no, ginormously bigger than for a large corporate business.  Sure, a large business can benefit from automation.  But for them it tends to be icing on a big cake, whereas for the small business it IS the cake and the icing too.

So, if you work for a small IT shop (or you are the ONLY person in the IT shop) you need to get to work.  The clock is ticking. Start the 8-step plan, and don’t forget steps 9 and 10:  9=save time for a personal life, 10=forget step 9.

How to Automate

Some people know me only for packaging and re-packaging software (yes, that is a real term).  Some know me only for Active Directory and Group Policy.  Some know me only for WSUS.  Some know me only for SMS and ConfigMgr.  Some know me for developing custom web portals and web applications.  Some know me for writing scripts.  Some know me for developing desktop and server applications.  Some know me for technical documentation and developing manuals.  Some know me for reviewing AutoCAD programming books.  Some know me for telling very stupid jokes and picking my nose.  But in reality, if I had to categorize my most best job title it would be “systems automation”.  I stopped picking my nose in public in the third grade, and it’s been downhill ever since.

I’ve never believed that computers were intended to be driven around like shopping carts.  It’s counterintuitive to require a lot of people to keep computers working.  Charles Babbage was aiming for a world where the machines would do our work “FOR US” not “WITH US”.  He started this by inventing what we now call “software”.  I’m sure when he was bolting together his amazing carpet loom contraption that he hadn’t anticipated where that would lead.

One of my favorite jobs I ever had, aside from industrial delivery services, was as a “business systems manager”.  I was tasked with automating as many processes in our IT environment as possible.  Period.  Whether it was tying together HR systems with Active Directory, or contracts with finance, or IT with assets, or assets with HR, or mobile devices with SOX monitoring, or automated diagnostics and change management.  It didn’t matter.  If it involved humans pushing buttons or typing things, and it could be done automatically somehow, I went after it.  I loved it.  But that all unraveled with a strange merger and divestiture of the company, and well, whatever.  What’s done is done.  That was a rare job indeed.  I don’t think I will ever see another one like as long as I live.  Today, it’s all about specialization.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: This is the most boring shit I’ve seen you write about yet.  No wait, the other thinking: What would you expect?  If you automate everything, then you put IT staff out of work.  Wrong!  Wrong! Wrong!  The idea is to free the IT folks from mundane bullshit work so they can brainstorm and innovate.  This is how you turn IT from a “cost center” into a “revenue center”, or at the very least, an engine for producing competitive advantages and reducing costs.  Remember, “virtualization” didn’t spring out of someone saying it was “cool”.  It got its wings from impressing the business folks with how it could reduce costs, speed things up, provide better protection and redundancy, and do it in less space.

So, this was going to be about automating Windows.  Or automating things in the Windows environment (Active Directory, patch management, software delivery, asset management, etc. whatever).  But when I laid out the same 8-step model I’ve used for almost 20 years, it was obvious that it applies to anything and everything.  It’s simply a model for automating any process or related processes.  I could break down each step, but the more I thought about it, it’s perfect “as-is”.  I don’t need to explain anything more.  If you don’t understand a particular step, think about it harder and it should become clear.  One thing to note is that in this model there are no weighted steps.  Every step is as critical and important as the others (although, Step 2 is the hardest).  If you skip one or half-ass it, it will half-ass you right back.  Enjoy!

Dave’s 8-Step Automation Gyration Contemplation:

Step 1 – Diagram Current Processes

Step 2 – Fix Broken Processes!!

Step 3 – Update the Diagram

Step 4 – Connect the Dots

Step 5 – Take Baby Steps

Step 6 – Build, Test, Deploy

Step 7 – Monitor and Refine !!!

Step 8 – Document !!!!

About Me

I say the letters "C", "S", and "Z" wrong due to a car accident in 1981, in which I used a steering wheel as a teething ring. Some people notice, some don't. I really don't care.

I hate poltics. Go vote, pat yourself on the back for saving Democracy, and shut up.

I hate religious prostheltyzing. Leave me alone.

I like a lot of kinds of music from classical to rock to jazz to pop to blues to R&B to rap and metal, but very little country. I can't get enough Zappa.

I played drums professionally for ten years.

I hate terms like "God is on _our_ side", "You can't afford _not_ to" and "I _know_ that _I'm_ going to Heaven"

I graduated college in five years, going full time, while working 55-60 hour weeks and raising four children with my ass-kicking wife. Yes, I got a cookie for it. And a t-shirt.

I always try to cut some slack for children, elderly and mentally challenged. Everyone else gets zero slack from me.

I believe food should never hurt you.

You can tell everything about someone by the way they drive a car.

Lawn care is the dumbest waste of time mankind ever invented. It wastes time, energy, water, chemicals, pollutes the water system, and does nothing at all for the environment.

I don't like zoos. They're stupid.

If you go camping, fishing, hiking, boating, climbing, and are attacked by a "wild animal", you deserved it. The animal is just doing its job.

Most people care way too much about shit that has absolutely zero impact on their life or anyone they know. They just have to worry about something as a distraction from the fact that (a) they have nothing interesting to occupy their time and (b) death is inevitable.

Cars should be driven by computers, not idiot, drunk, distracted humans.

Getting dirty won't kill you. It makes you tougher.

Most people argue topics for which they don't know even half the facts. Read ALL sides before opening your mouth. Arguing on half the facts is worse than none of the facts.

If you don't know, say you don't know. Don't guess. Guessing gets people killed.

I'm convinced that everyone is prejudiced. Some are just better liars than others (to others and to themselves). It's not about skin color either. It's about dress code and posture. Face it, white folks won't panic if they pass a group of black males in suits wearing glasses. But put baggy clothes on them and have them slouch and stare in a menacing posture and they'll cross the street to go around them.

I slow down for tailgaters once. After that I stomp the breaks like a kid ran in front of me chasing a ball. I define "tailgater" as someone who follows behind you at less than a car length while you are going at least 5 mph over the posted limit.

I believe we (humans) can always do better. We choose not to.

Beer is not for those on a diet. If you worry about the calories in your beer, its time to stop drinking. It's not your sport.

I'm not impressed by tattoos or piercings. They used to matter. Now they signify discretionary income. Nothing more. I have nothing against them. I just don't pay them any attention.

I like to write programming code. Unfortunately, it doesn't pay much in these parts. So I play with other IT stuff that pays more.

I will never be able to pay off my student loans.

Some say the "American Food" is the Hamburger, Hot Dog or Pizza. I say it is breakfast cereal.

Most people don't give a crap what I think.

We Live in Ancient Times

That was an old quote (I forget by whom) that said this.  And it came to me while looking at this exhibit at a recent air show in Virginia Beach (NAS Oceana Air Show).  At one time this was state of the art.  It was "the future".  Look around and ask yourself what the things around you will be thought of in one hundred years.

Finish This Sentence...

"I wish there was a software program that could ____"

IE9 Trial Run Thoughts

Interesting IE9 bugs: Won't let you pin Gmail to the Task List.... EVER.  And it doesn't like editing in HTML format editors (e.g. Blogger, CommunityServer, Gmail, Yahoo! Mail, etc.)  It also has issues copy/paste between web sites in the same tab collection.  Short story: IE9 looks *very* promising, but not ready for prime time yet.

Geek Tip: Make Yer Own Cool Windows 7 Themepacks from National Geographic Photos!

Hey Kids!  Here's a super-awesometacular geek tip for making your own jaw-dropping increditastical themes for Windows 7 using fantabulous photographic backgrounds from the folks at National Geographic.  All of this from Mr. Mediocre!  But wait!  There's more!!...

1. Surf to National Geographic and start collecting great photos like this one: http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/hengill-mountain-iceland/  (tip: be sure to go for the biggest and bestest resolution you can)  and download these to a folder under your Pictures folder.  Make a new sub-folder called "Wallpaper\NatGeo" or something amazingly stupid like that.  Keep surfing and save all the ones you like in that folder.
2. Open that folder from your Start menu
3. Select all the image files and then right-click and choose "Set as background background"
4. Then right-click on your desktop and select "Personalize"
5. Notice that your new (unnamed) theme is active.  Click the "Save theme" link and give it a name.
6. Done!

Todays Question: Biker Tricks Gone Bad

So, you're driving in your 4-wheeled vehicular contraption on a nice, sunny, warm day in busy traffic.  You look to your left and you see a gang of "rice rocket" bikers holding up the cars behind them so their friend in the front has room to pop a wheelie and show off for the onlookers.  Except that his little trick ends in the back of a stopped truck.  Poor little tattooed biker dude all over the road with this little playmates standing around in a support circle.  Little pieces of motorcycle spilled all over the pavement.  And that poor truck bumper, it's, well…, it has a terrible scratch on it. Almost 3 inches long!  But you have to look real close to see it.

Do you…

A) Feel sadness and remorse

B) Stare with curious interest and fascination

C) Laugh hysterically with your head completely outside your window

D) Offer some advice for doing proper wheelies for when he recovers in a few months

???

Uhhhh…. Holy F-ing Sh*T (just watch for yourself)

Question: What's the Best thing to ever come out of Detroit?

1. Ford
2. GM
3. Chrysler
4. The Tigers
5. The Lions
6. The Red Wings
7. The Pistons
8. Eminem

Ok, Ok, Ok, how the Hell do I Pronounce dis werd?

The product name is "Vuuch".  Without hearing it spoken, I'm guessing it's either "vooch" like pooch, or "voosh" like douche.  Which is it?  You find out…

Weekend Thought: Do You Still Like Working in IT?

It's a simple question really.  Assuming you EVER really "liked" working in IT, or even if not in a formal IT environment, that you ever liked working with computers and related "technology".  Do you still?  On average (not just today or yesterday), do you still enjoy working in the field of technology as much now as you ever did in the past?

Me?  Not so much.

Why?  In the 1990's, the party-time of IT, things were driven by the technology itself.  The features, the capabilities, the new places to explore and improve upon, those were everywhere.  It was almost a free-for-all as far as finding problems and working out solutions with the tools at hand.  It felt like building a house or rebuilding an old car.  It was yours to conquer.

Today, it's mostly about cost cutting.  The projects aren't really driven by IT people anymore either.  They're being driven by bean-counters.  People in suits, with MBA's and PMP certifications.  People who can spew ITIL, SOX, SOA, and SDLC mantra all day, but can't write a single line of code or install a software product of any real meaning (server-based is what I'm talking about).

In the late 90's and early 2000's, if you asked most IT SysAdmins "is this product/technology something YOU would have chosen?" they would have said "Yes.  I chose it."  Today, most that I have talked with say "No.  It was chosen by someone else and I don't like it.".  Many feel that the technology they are supporting is outdated or inefficient, but they don't have the authority or backing to pursue an alternative.  Even when a proof of concept shows enough promise towards saving time and effort, most SysAdmins don't have time (or sufficient skill) at presenting an MBA-oriented business case to get it over the hump.  To us, the features save time, do more, and free us to do other things.  To the financial departments it's only a matter of how much it will cost to implement (including training and support), and what will it provide in savings and over how long.  The old ROI issue.  However, today it's less about the "R" (return) and more about the up-front cost.

Do you still go into work (or work from home) on weekends or late weeknights?  Is it by your own choosing because you LIKE what you're doing?  Or is it because you HAVE to do it?   Or do you even work into your personal hours?  Are you as driven by the fascination of what you're working with now as you were five or ten years ago?  Or are you driven more by staying employed and getting a paycheck?  If you could choose the technologies you work with, would they be the same as you are already using?

It's 2010, and I just Cannot Understand why…

… desktop PC's are still so friggin bulky and oafish.  Why can't they be smaller like a pack of playing cards?  They can.  They will.  Just not soon enough.

… electric cars have taken so long to … , oh wait, nevermind, they're still not on ANY lots within 100 miles of where I live.

… people still listen to politicians.  Why they still act surprised with they fail to deliver on their campaign promises.  Why they believe one party is going to help them more than the other.

… American homeowners still bother maintaining a lawn (instead of replacing it with rocks or something pretty and doesn't require labor, gas, oil, time and more time)

… 1040 tax forms are still stupidly over complicated

… metro WiFi still hasn't taken off across the U.S.

… anyone drinking beer worries about carbs or calories.  Wrong hobby!

… Americans love patting themselves on the back and saying "we're number 1!" when we're not and it's not helping us get back to "number 1" either.

… teenage boys think it looks cool to wear pants hanging off their ass with their boxers hanging outside.

… watching football is "manly" but watching the cheerleaders isn't.

… NASCAR is considered a "sport"

… anyone watches "reality" TV shows

And Now for Yet Another Post on Group Policy (This one is most important)

I know I've already blabbered to death about Group Policy, GP Prefs, testing and labs, and whatever, but I made a huge goof. Yep. I overlooked one key aspect to Group Policy. A huge aspect. THE most important aspect.

Before you start making or modifying GPOs. Before you start making test OUs and test accounts. Before you build a test lab environment. Before you design and rollout your shiney new AD environment. Before you start working on USMT migration plans...

Part 1 - Document what you need to accomplish!

The results you expect to get from going through the effort of a new AD environment, or an AD migration, will be dictated by your design. The sites and site links and replication mess are one thing, but the way you need to manage resources is also as important.

Decide (and document) what controls and settings you need in place across all or portions of your new AD environment. How will settings need to be applied and filtered to certain locations, users and groups or machines, will guide your Group Policy design. The Group Policy design will dictate (to a large extent) how your AD logical design can be done. This is no trivial subject. It may take longer than you would expect.

Do this on a whiteboard or on paper. Stay away from a computer. The tools will distract you from this thought process, trust me. Draw it out and make all your changes before you start formalizing them on a computer. Then take the results into your lab and see if it works.

Think of this like designing a school. You can't know how big to build the school until you decide how big the rooms need to be, how many rooms, how many hallways, etc. And you can't determine that without knowing how many students in what grade levels will be sent to it.  That will tell you how many teachers, buses, cafeteria seats, kitchen space, and parking spaces you'll need as well.

Group Policy controls the environment by way of logical links and applicability filters. User vs Computer settings against user or computer OUs, and then comes WMI filters, blocking, enforcement, ordering and (my favorite) loopbacks. Whether you need (or want) to apply settings by groups, by departments, by locations, by operating system, by hardware, by language or by time zone, will point you towards the logical AD design to allow that.

Part 2 - Simplicity First

The old saying is true: "Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD".  It definitely holds true for Group Policy implementation.  Do not jump in and try to do everything at once! Start small. Begin with listing the controls you *absolutely* need. Then list the "nice-to-have" items separately. Keep them separate!!! Even if they happen to fall in the same GPO tree as one of your "gotta-haves". Isolate GPOs by what they control. Don't mix settings. Printer settings and IE settings should be in separate GPOs. Putting more settings in fewer GPOs only makes it more difficult to troubleshoot problems and it becomes difficult to split them later on. Remember: Baby steps.

Ok. I just wanted to post this and get it done. You may now continue with your regularly scheduled boring life, already in progress...

A Nation of Attention-Whores?

After 46 years of walking around this ball of dirt and water I've finally come to the conclusion that America is suffering from a major ailment: Insecurity.

Let me backtrack a bit.  The symptoms are everywhere.  Everyone seems to be craving attention.  From tattoos and piercings, to artificial hair coloring, to cars with strange accoutrements (think oversized wheels, paint jobs, spoilers, etc.), to loud music, pants hanging off the ass, even little things like posting our whereabouts via Gowalla, Foursquare and Latitude.  All over the place, it seems everyone wants other people to take notice.  To acknowledge their existence.  I'm guilty as well, by posting blatheringly stupid comments on a blog.

I'm not a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but I did read about them once, back in the eighth grade, so that makes me a de facto expert.  But from what I've read, or read once, a long time ago, attention craving is a symptom of insecurity.  Insecurity comes from all sorts of root causes.  Youth.  Career.  Family.  Friends (or lack thereof, of any of these), and so on.  We talk loud.  We act loud.  We dress loud.  We decorate loud.  All to over-compensate for being insecure.  About what?

Blog Direction

I originally thought that this "blog" might turn into something with some communal involvement.  At least a bit of back-and-forth discussion, which is what has been the most frustrating aspect of keeping alive this stupid blog (and let's face it: it IS pretty stupid).  So the focus from here on out will be on posting when I feel like it and never asking questions from readers.  No more asking what you want to read.  I've asked all those questions and got almost zero feedback.  The stats show people are reading, even if only humble numbers are shown (averaging 60 readers per day).  No soliciting for participation.  It's just not going to happen.  So sit back, pinch a loaf, and enjoy, but don't forget to put the seat back down for the next person.

Impressions from Jay Pharoah

Visual LISP (and AutoLISP) is Officially Dead

I'm sure some of you will disagree, but it's true.  Autodesk will never admit it, but it's true.  Ever since they fell in love with VBA, and got dumped in an alley by VSA, and then thought it would somehow catch on with the masses of casual programmers (those of us trying to get a job done, and programming code JUST ENOUGH to make the job easier and quicker).  Even though there are still (last I checked) some chores that ObjectARX (.NET) still can't do as well, or as "elegantly" as LISP, they're not going on a second date.  She's been dumped.  Bon voyage LISP.  It was a wonderful journey.  I will miss you.

PS.  The Visual LISP Developer's Bible project is officially comatose with no brain activity.

Question: What's Your Obstacle?

If you work in the IT field, or anything where you support computers, support or develop software, etc.: I ask you a simple question…

In your opinion, what is the biggest obstacle to implementing technological improvements:

Budget or People?

Dipping Back a Little

I played drums throughout much of the 1980's, so it's still something I hold close to my heart.  I have a lot of favorite percussionists, many you've probably heard of, some you may not have.  This is one that that hit me pretty hard because John Bonham was one of my favorites.  This is not just a matter of being a tribute from his son (like Natalie Cole did for her father Nat King Cole).  It's that, plus the fact that he just nailed it.  He f**king nailed it.  Anyone who questioned whether Jason could fill those shoes has to close their mouth and just smile.  It's worth watching.

You can find this among a hundred other fantastic videos on my YouTube channel.

Building Your Own Group Policy Virtual Lab

It's a been a long time since I wrote anything about Group Policy.  I'm sure some of you are happy about that, and maybe wish I'd take even longer, but oh well.  You must endure the torture that my second-rate writing brings to unsuspecting eyeballs and those with challenged mouse clicking fingers.

Lot's of folks are skiddish (not Yiddish, an entirely different thing) about practicing and learning about Group Policy in a "safe" and protected environment.  Some will simply create a few "test" OU's and test user and group accounts in their production Active Directory environment.  That's risky.  It can actually be downright "stupid-dangerous".  Two words that go together like bacon and eggs, Tom and Jerry, politics and lying, and a few others.  The key word is "tatooing", which can render your environment, in technical terms: fucked up beyond all repair (that's FUBAR).

The better, smarter, safer way to go is using a virtual environment.  If you haven't used a virtual machine setup before, maybe you've just read and heard about the concept, it's very easy.  VERY easy indeed.  And not only cheap, but FREE.  I have to assume that if you're working with Group Policy, then you have an Active Directory environment nearby.  If you have Active Directory, then chances are you have Windows Server handy.  You are ready to go.

1. Install a Virtual Machine product.  There are several free products to choose from, including VMware Player, Sun VirtualBox, and the ubiquitously sucky-ass VirtualPC from Microsoft, among others.  I prefer VMware Player or VirtualBox.  If you can afford VMware Workstation that's a better option since it supports "snapshots", which are very VERY helpful.
2. Create your Virtual Machines.  You will need at least one Windows Server VM and at least one or two Windows client VM's.  For our examples, and because I **LOVE** Group Policy Preferences (or GPP's), I will recommend Windows Server 2008 or 2008 R2, and Windows 7.  If you need to support XP in your environment, then by all means: add a Windows XP VM to your mix.
3. Prepare the Virtual Machines.  Go ahead and install the operating systems and name the computers and install any/all updates.  I also recommend downloading any utilities like Admin Tools, Resource Kits, Sysinternals tools, and so on.  Be sure to consider item #4 during this step as well.
4. Be Careful with Network Settings!  While you are building each VM, you can leave the network setting to "bridged" or "NAT", so that you can download updates and utilities, etc.  But before you make the jump to creating the AD domain environment, move all your VM's into a private virtual network.  This is VERY important!  I won't dive into the procedure for this because it's best left to the documentation for your chosen product.  It's not difficult.
5. Promote the first AD Domain Controller.  Go ahead and add the AD Domain Services role and run DCPROMO to create the first domain controller.  Make sure you are running in a private virtual network first!!  If you use Windows for DHCP management be sure to disable the built-in DHCP service provided by the virtual machine software.  Document the settings!  The Forest/Domain names, IP addresses, server names, admin and DSRM recovery passwords, etc.  After the DC is promoted and rebooted, be sure to give it some time to settle in, then run through your diagnostics to make sure it is operating properly.
6. Join Desktop VM's to the Virtual Domain.  Set up each desktop VM and join them to the new domain.  Make sure they join properly and everything connects together.  This will feel like putting together a playset for your kids.
7. Snapshot or Backup.  If you have VMware Workstation make snapshots of each VM to provide a fall-back restore point so you don't lose all the work you've done to this point.  If you don't have snapshots available, you can simply power down each VM (using the internal "Shutdown" not just killing the VM) and copy the pertinent config and disk files to another location.  The intent here is to avoid losing all the work you've done.  If you screw up your lab, or the physical host crashes, you can rebuild and get your lab back to this point in time and save yourself a lot of pain.
8. Start Playing.  Now that you've got your lab up and running, and you have the safety net of a backup or snapshot, you should be ready to start trying things out.

As a standard practice, I recommend installing RSAT on one of your Windows 7 VM's so you can manage AD and Group Policy features from a desktop, rather than relying on logging into a DC every time.  This is usually more realistic.  It's not usually recommended to constantly log into a DC to do daily check-ups and modifications unless you have to.  This is especially true if the DC has other roles on it like File/Print, Web services and so on.

Even though you are in a VM environment, it is still a good idea to create test OU's and test user accounts, test groups, test computers, shares, and so on.  This offers you additional layers of safety.  It's easier to blow off a bad GPO configuration against a test OU and test accounts, than it is to recover the entire VM environment.

The scope and scale of your virtual environment is only limited by two things: disk space and memory.  Those are both limited by budget.  If you have the budget to expand your disk storage capacity (and redundancy) and add memory, do it.  It's worth it if you intend on making this a serious project.  There is no such thing as too much memory or storage capacity.  The more you have available, the more you will consume.  That's a fact of nature.

If you have enough resources available you can expand your environment and your testing to include things like sub-domains, multiple forests, multiple sites and site link replication, DNS configurations, DHCP scopes and options, VLAN's and so on.  You can also add other products to your environment such as Sharepoint/MOSS, System Center products like Config Mgr, SCOM, DPM, as well as Exchange, WSUS, and other products (not to mention scripting and non-Microsoft products).  It's also perfect for practicing those topics for your upcoming certification exam that you may not even have in your production environment.

But I digress.

The point of this article was to help with building a virtual lab to work with Group Policy.  I got a little sidetracked, but hopefully in a good way.  I hear from people all the time that say they are hesitant to practice with Group Policy settings for fear of breaking their environment or creating a mess they might have to dig their way out of (adding yet more work to their already busy day).  Having a virtual environment allows you to try things and not impact your real environment, so you can move ahead without the worries.  Take an afternoon, stay after work, or a weekend morning, and build your virtual lab.  It'll pay off for you, I promise.

My Favorite Web Sites

I'm a Google Reader JUNKIE.  I may need therapy.  I currently have about 250 feeds arranged into 8 categories of which I scan daily for useful tidbits.  However, I'm becoming less of a fan of RSS skimming and getting back more towards reading the source web sites.  The reason is that RSS feeds generally strip off a lot of the visual appeal of the site itself.  While the textual content is usually intact, the graphics often get skewed, blocked or just don't come through at all.  But more important than graphics and visual layout is the aggregation of information.  Great examples of this are FastCompany and SmashingMagazine.  If you inspect their home pages it should be obvious what you miss by only reading their RSS feeds.  I obviously don't visit nearly as many web sites as I have RSS feeds, but these I try to hit at least every other day if I can.

Note: My criteria for "favorite" is not based on visual appeal or site design.  It's based on useful information and ease of extraction.

FastCompany

Smashing Magazine

NetTuts

LifeHacker

QuickSprout (Neil Patel's blog)

Cool Material

Neatorama

Another Top 10 Essential IT Skills

Brian Posey posted a blog article on Microsoft TechNet called "IT Skills Development: Top 10 Essential IT Skills" which is pretty good.  I don't necessarily agree with his list, even on a purely pragmatic level, but after reading it I got to thinking about a more realistic "Top 10 List" of my own.  However, there is one VERY IMPORTANT aspect that Brian overlooked:  The skills you need are directly associated with [a] the job role you have now, and [b] the job role you are trying to attain.  Because the IT field has become increasingly specialized, the skills are also becoming more specific to each role.  So I'll try to break it down by general roles

PC Technician

1. Master eating spicy foods and consuming lots of beer or Jaegermeister
2. Know your sports teams and league standings
3. Know country or pop / hip-hop music
4. Know at least ten dirty jokes
5. Jeans, Van's shoes, T-shirts that say "There's no place like 127.0.01"

Software Engineer

1. Master your iPod or Zune, etc. (coders rarely talk, they work alone)
2. Learn the latest buzz terms even if you work with 1990's technology
3. Starbucks for breakfast, lunch and maybe dinner
4. Know your alternative musicians and hep TV shows
5. Jeans, flip-flops, T-shirts that say "void main()…"

Systems Engineer / Architect / Analyst

1. Play fantasy football or be fluent about some Pro sports league
2. Put charts and diagrams on every wall (MSDN PDC charts work great)
3. Buy the latest smartphone (DroidX, iPhone4, etc.) and learn enough secret tips to impress your coworkers while you…
4. Go out to lunch almost every day
5. Dockers, Polo shirts, casual dress shoes, sunglasses on top of head even at night.

Department Manager

1. Stock cabinet with Mylanta, Exedrin and Vitamins
2. Learn to appreciate cold coffee (I'm not talking about iced latte's either)
3. Picture frames with family and fishing trips (the kind you'll never go on again)
4. Dying potted plants
5. Dockers, Dress shirts with rolled sleeves and sloppy tie, stained t-shirt underneath

Project Manager

1. Books about PMP trends
2. Framed PMP certs on walls, desk junk also
3. Stacks of useless papers all over the place
4. An inefficient meeting calendar with no time to do anything besides meetings
5. Similar attire to Department Manager on bad days, more like CTO on good days

CTO

1. Sharp dresser, spend a lot on clothing
2. Drive a nice sports car, keep it clean and shiney also
3. Latest smartphone
4. Laugh at all the CIO, and CxO jokes (and know enough semi-dirty jokes for the after-parties)
5. Dockers or Suit.  Hawaiian shirts on Fridays, if you even come in on Fridays

CIO

1. BMW, Lexus, Infinity or Cadillac SUV with golf clubs sticking out the back
2. Picture frames with grandchildren and platoon photos from back in the miliary
3. Sports memorabilia (autographed baseball gloves, footballs, framed photos, etc.)
4. Business Philosophy books on shelves (with plenty of dust on them)
5. Suits, Suits and more Suits

Ok, so these are all 5's, not 10's.  Eh.