What They Don't Teach You in School

Math, English, foreign languages, Biology, Comparative Religions, World History, bah!  Even the programming/geek/nerd stuff.... bah!

These are the most important pieces of education a young person could ever absorb before entering the cut-throat job market today.  So, please, for your career's sake:  Put down the bong and pay attention!

1. Office Camouflage

Never look like you need something to do.  Carry papers in one hand, preferrably with a pen, and a coffee cup in the other.  Undo your tie and roll your sleeves up.  Even if you're just going to throw some trash away, make it look like you're on a mission.  A mission to advise the CEO that the CFO and CIO are both TFU and the only person who they can trust is  Y.O.U.  Look busy!

2. Shoes and Stalls

Every day you get to work, make a mental note of what shoes the other managers are wearing that day.   This only applies to members of the same sex (or whichever sex/gender inhabits the same restrooms you frequent). Knowing what shoes the CEO/CFO/COO/CIO/CTO/CSO/CIEIEIO wears can mean the difference between being fired and being promoted.

Think of the typical restroom situation where you're chatting with a coworker; you're shaking uncontrollably at the urinal, while he/they picks lunch leftovers from their teeth only an inch from the encrusted mirror.  You get ready to say something really apolitical about someone high-up, but you pause to sneak a glance at the shoes of the guy, just beneath the stall partition panel, who's moaning and grunting in the nearby stall.  You make a strategic correction.

Instead of "Man, that department manager is a real asshole.  Did you see how he tore the head off that cat in the staff meeting?!", you recall those shoes as being the CFO's, and then you remember that the department manager is his son.  So instead, you say something like "Man, that department manager is awesome.  The way he used his bottle-opener on that cat was genius!  His dad must be SO proud of him.".  Next day you show up and there's a calendar invite to a private meeting on the CFO's yacht, dinner included, dress appropriately.  See?  It's just that easy.  And you thought "hard work" (whatever that is) really matters.

3. Big Words

If you can read a beer bottle, a Hunger Games chapter, medicine bottles, cereal box labels, a verse from the Bible (or other religious text of your choosing), you have all it takes to read another exciting book:  The Dictionary.

Learn a new word, at least once a month.  Instead of reacting to surprising news with tired, old, phrases like "wow!", try something more ear-catching like "Gadzooks!" or "Jumping Jehoshaphat!".  It shows you might be what they call "Educated" or something.  And we all know those suit-wearing folk LOVE them some good ole educated folk to hang out and chew the fat with.  I mean, "have a intelligible conversation and discourse with".

4. Statistical Stuff

Learn something about the sport and sports teams/leagues/players that you know excite the upper management.  Then you can combine it with the tips above, and then practice in the restroom, while urinating on the wall, noticing the CEO's shoes in stall number 3, who happens to be a Texas Rangers' fan, and say something clever, like "Wow!  Did you know that Nolan Ryan could throw a baseball through the armor-plating of an Army tank while blind-folded and drunk on Drano?!  Amazing!"

Wait for the reaction.  If you say something clever enough about their favorite sports thing, or NASCAR thing, they'll jump right out of the stall with their pants down, toilet paper hanging from their butt cheeks and give you a hug like a long-lost relative coming back from the dead.

5. Strategic Posing

Do not EVER look relaxed at your desk.  Stare intently at the screen as if you're watching a live broadcast of a hamster, slowly unhinging it's jaws to swallow a cow in one piece.  The look must be serious.  It must be practiced to perfection.  Nobody who does *real* work does it without some effort and nothing shows effort like that classic Clint Eastwood, tight-jawed, seven day constipated grimace of serious ass-kickery that just oozes the feeling of "I'm busy curing Cancer, and world hunger, so back off bitch!"

Helpful tips include frowning, squinting, pursing of the lips, rubbing your chin and nodding slowly up and down.  For extra points, combine them in pairs or all together at once.  Then slowly rise from your broken desk chair and back away without blinking, or looking away even once.  Say something quiet, but just loud enough so the nearby idiots can hear it, like "yes.  yes.   yesss!  that will change EVERYTHING." and then go to the restroom to practice steps 1 through 4.

Conclusion

So there you have it.  All the basic skills you need to master in order to excel in a tech job in America. After all, the real jobs are going overseas anyway, so you might as well enjoy the ride while the ship sinks.

Don't ever say I didn't try to help you get ahead.

Bullshitilizer 2013 Ultimate Edition

If you ask anyone who has worked in a large office (i.e. corporate) environment, whether or not they've found themselves in a situation where they had to change course, in mid-discussion, to avoid getting caught wasting valuable "company time", they will usually nod in agreement.  Standing in the doorway, having a heated discussion about any (or all) of the following topics:

• Last night's sports game
• Recent (or upcoming) episodes of "The Walking Dead"
• Gun Control
• Abortion
• Immigration
• Religion
• Politics
• Best TV SitCom
• Best late night talk show
• Gadgets (cameras, phones, etc.)
• Hot office babes (if you have any) and what they're wearing today

Suddenly, the CEO/CFO/CIO/CTO/CSO/CMO/CBO/CAO/COO/CXO turns the corner, with a dower look on his/her face.  The expression says "I'm ready to fire the next bastard I see shooting the shit in the hallway!!!"

What do you do?

Fear not!  I have a handy list of conversation jump-starters to pull out just for those pants-crapping moments.  But there's an important catch here:

You can't just switch conversation gears without being careful to select a topic that logically fits with your job role.  In other words, if you are a Network engineer, you don't want start jaw-jacking about Git, or UAT, especially if the "suit" passing by knows what your job role is.  So I've grouped them by job role to help you out.

For each functional group/department/team/division headlined below, use one of the phrases listed beneath it.  Each is intended to jumpstart a new conversation, but will only work if your accomplice is clued-in beforehand, unless he/she is astute enough to pick up on the hidden agenda and can improvise along with you.  And remember: These will only work if you keep a straight face.

Applications Development

• "I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Applications Support

• "I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Help Desk

• "Did you see that call about Outlook Inbox synchronization this morning?"
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Information Security (aka "InfoSec")

• "I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Network Engineering

• "I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Project Management

• "I was looking over the changes in the second review, and ..."
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Systems Engineering

• "I was looking over the changes in Service Pack 1, and ..."
• "I'm not sure I understand why they want to do the change that day, instead of..."
• "Have you seen the [product_name] from [vendor_name] yet?"
• "Oh yeah! I can't make that meeting because I'm scheduled for another at the time."

Good luck!

Jobs. Jobs. Jobs. IT Jobs

My employer, Endurance IT Services, located in Virginia Beach, Virginia, is hiring.  Yes!


(2) Engineer (Tier II) - Windows/VMware/Exchange (Hampton Roads)


Looking for Systems Engineer with a minimum of 7+ years of hands on experience with diverse network environments.  This position is for a full time opening on our engineering team. This team is responsible for the design, installation and support of networks for numerous clients in Hampton Roads.  The typical environments include Microsoft Windows 2003/2008 Servers, Exchange 2003/2007/2010, Cisco routers/switches/firewalls and other 3rd party applications.  Bachelor degree preferred. Ability to assess and formally document client environments a must.


Key Skills include all the items below:

• Microsoft Exchange 2007 / 2010
• Windows Server 2008 / 2008 R2
• Active Directory
• Networking with various products

(2) Senior Engineer (Tier III) - Windows/VMware/Exchange (Hampton Roads)


Senior Systems Engineer with a minimum of 15+ years of hands on experience with diverse network environments.  This position is for a full time opening on our engineering team. This team is responsible for the design, installation and support of networks for numerous clients in Hampton Roads.  The typical environments include Microsoft Windows 2003/2008 Servers, Exchange 2003/2007/2010, VMware Vsphere, SANs, Cisco routers/switches/firewalls and other 3rd party applications.  Bachelor degree preferred.  Ability to assess and formally document client environments a must.


Key Skills include all the items below:

• VMware in HA environments
• Microsoft Exchange 2007 / 2010
• Windows Server 2008 / 2008 R2
• Networking with various products

We are looking for strong candidates with technical support skills and great interpersonal skills.



We are a fast growing company that is strongly focused on customer service and satisfaction. We are building a corporate culture which supports learning, growth and advancement in the Network Services career field. Our focus is solely network services.  We offer competitive salaries, a comprehensive benefits package, and a great place to work.

(A LOT of employers say the above mumbo-jumbo, but I will concur 110% that it is indeed a great place to work for.)



If you live within the Hampton Roads area, and are both qualified and interested in one of these available positions - contact me for more information at ds0934 (at) gmail (dot) com.

When They Just Don't Get It

I was driving home from work and thinking about ponderous experiences in my past career endeavors.  I do that sometimes when I'm not speeding and weaving around like a blind man with Turrette's.  It stemmed from a lengthy discussion with one of my nephews about our relative "quality of life" and "career satisfaction" stuff, and so on.  Guys often get into this subject matter after blabbering about titties and power tools.  (There's nothing wrong with either of those, but you can only talk about them so long before you run out of superlatives and metaphors.)

I said to him "I think I'm in the best situation I've ever been in, at least so far.  I'm enjoying it while it lasts, because nothing lasts forever."

We digressed into two aspects of that statement: one for each sentence.

As for the second one (I'm working in reverse): I've been in too many "sure bet" situations that suddenly turned a wrong corner.  Once after 10 years, another after 7 years, and another after only 5 months.  Shit happens.  When you've had a CEO shake your hand and hand you a mixed drink, smile, and tell you with utmost sincerity that "your job is as safe and secure as it could possibly be", only to close your office and lay you off two weeks later, it tends to leave to an impression.  That was five months into the new job.  The 7 year job was one I thought I'd retire from and live happily ever after.  The CEO of that place turned into a vindictive paranoid dick and stabbed everyone, even his VP's, in the back and left with a golden parachute.  Those two situations, along with the death of some very close colleagues, really hit home with me and given me a perspective that you have to plan for the worst, hope for the best, and be prepared for whatever comes next.

Enough of that though.  On to the first sentence...

As far as building cool applications are concerned, at least where I define "cool" as (A) fun to write code for, (B) produce something that helps not only myself but those around me, and (C) is actually beneficial to my employer's line of business, I can point to three distinct experiences:

Employer 1 - I had an idea to build something that was helpful for my group, but the company pushed back hard at every turn.  Their rationale?  I was hired to do job "A", so working on something outside of that, even though it automated more than half of what job "A" entailed, was outside the duties of job "A".  Period.  In one situation, I was flat-out told (and I quote): "We are a defense contractor.  We don't get paid to save time.  We get paid for the time it takes to do it right."  Awesome reflection of the true American work ethic.  Regardless of being approached by four peer-level businesses to license it, and three government agencies, the employer refused and effectively killed the project.

Employer 2 - I had a manager with amazing vision and self-direction, who approached me to help him build something that was aimed squarely at automating our daily workload.  It grew and grew, mostly with his ideas and direction, based on what he had seen accomplished at each step, and propelling it on to the next level.  It was a cool project indeed.  The company fought back, again, with a slightly different rational:  "Your group is tasked with "A" not developing software.  If you wanted a solution, you should have requested the AppDev group."  Translation: feasibility studies, requirements analysis, pre-dev evaluation, code and test, evaluation, UAT, the whole stupid-ass CMMI assembly line.  And this is to build something that really warranted none of that excessive bullshit.  The real aim was control and something to provide time-charge coverage for a bunch of people with not enough work to cover them.  In the end, I left and another developer was brought on to continue work on it, but it was eventually given over to the AppDev group and given the lobotomy treatment.

Employer 3 - Both my manager, and the entire management structure saw the results of a small example, pulled me aside and said "do more!".  Regardless of my official duties, they allow me incredible latitude to push things as far as it makes sense, as long as it produces results that satisfy others.  So far so good.

To sum this up:  One place let me build a car but not let it out of the garage.  The next place let me build a car, and get it out on the road, but not go faster than 55 mph.  The next place let me build it, and take it out on a race track with no limits.

Conclusion

Regardless of technology.  Regardless of technological potential.  What most often holds back progress, or often outright KILLS it, are people.  People with narrow vision, no concern for innovation as it pertains to making real progress, are what build speed bumps.  Vision builds roads with few potholes.

No place is perfect.  I'm not going to even attempt to say that Employer 3 is perfect.  That would be nonsense.  But finding the right balance between ideal and tolerable is what makes things work for each person.  It's like a girlfriend or boyfriend.  You'll never find perfection, but if you can find enough good traits to outweigh the bad ones, it can often work out great.

Each of the three employers had plenty of skilled, intelligent, funny and progressive people.  The problem for two of them was a barrier of culture that keeps them from achieving their full potential.  I know for certain that most of the people I had worked with, if placed into different environments, would damn near explode with positive results.  A suppressed culture suppresses everyone within it.  Whether it's by standing up roadblocks, meetings, committees, reviews, forms, forms and more forms, and decisions made by people with absolutely zero understanding of the case being decided, or by the nature of the work itself being limited to one road, rather than a network of roads with unlimited potential, the environment shapes the potential of every employee.  The employees become the environment and it becomes them.

All I can suggest is this:

Look for the barriers, the obstacles, the roadblocks, and if you can't remove them, try to work around them.  Find a way to get your ideas into action.  My manager at Employer 2 did just that, and pressed ahead against incredible push-back and apathy, and refused to give up.  I simply drafted behind him enjoyed the opportunity to break out of the assembly line work I was hired to do.  If you have a good idea, find others who will listen.  Band together and share your ideas and feed off each other's positive views.  If you're lucky, that's an easy thing to do.  For a lot of people it's a struggle, but don't give up.  Do the homework and confirm your beliefs with hard facts and numbers.  If you think it will save time and money, be ready to back up your estimates.  It's really hard to argue against good numbers.  The real people in power live on numbers.

When you run into people at work that just don't get it, move on and find the ones that do.

A Short Recap of my Career Thus Far

• 1984, I left the construction world, and playing in bands, for a job as a "apprentice drafstman" (board drafting, Mylar, Sepia and vellum).  I recall lettering 20 ANSI-F title sheets entirely by hand per week for several months on end (notes, references, materials, titleing, very little white space left).  My fingers had permanent dents from holding the mechanical pencils.
• In 1987 after switching jobs a few times (still drafting) I was dunked into building 3D shipboard engine room models using Computervision CADDS 4X.  I worked on that platform for several years.
• In 1990, I was sent to training on Intergraph EMS and VDS and worked on that for almost a year.
• I was sent to training on Bentley Microstation, but picked up a few books and taught myself AutoCAD R10 by staying late at work and sneaking into the AutoCAD drafting room.
• After convincing the CAD dept manager I could work on AutoCAD, I was moved into the AutoCAD group on R11.  The U.S. Navy had just issued an official approval for using AutoCAD to make title sheets and bills of material "only".  All detail design work was still required to be done by hand (plastic lead on frosted mylar sheets).
• In 1992*, the U.S. Navy finally issued an official allowance for AutoCAD detail design work for all contracts.
• After months of struggling with bugs in a custom add-on written in AutoLISP and ADS for our company (by a west-coast employee), I decided to learn AutoLISP and add my own workarounds.  I picked up a few books, but the best was "AutoLISP Programming by Example" by Gene Straka.  One of the best heads-down teach-yourself books I've ever owned.
• In 1994 I wrote my own 2D piping system for AutoCAD R12.  It grew into an HVAC system, and eventually into electrical and structural as well.
• In 1996, I was hired by a large shipyard to lead their first AutoCAD implementation.  It was (gulp!) AutoCAD R13 running on Windows NT 3.51.  It was a very rough experience, but we somehow got it working.  I was also introduced to Brett Rivers, who introduced me to SMS 2.0 and was generous enough to tutor me on how it works and how to use it for deploying AutoCAD and custom add-ons to roughly 3,000 desktops.  That eventually grew to 14,000 desktops.
• In December 1999, I graduated from Christopher Newport Univsersity with my BS in Information Science. 
• In February 2000, I was hired by an engineering firm to build a new shipbuilding CAD suite on top of AutoCAD 2000, and consolidate their standalone licensing under AdLM (prior to FlexLM).  That moved me into license management, including contracts, support, and auditing.
• By 2002 I was on version 2.0 of the new CAD system and had enlisted three team mates to help build out more functionality and features.  We joined the Autodesk Developer Network and the alpha "early adopter" program:  Pinetop, Tahoe, Banff, Kirkland, Red Deer, Neo, Rio (I left ADN before Postrio)
• By 2002 I had been building a lab to prepare for deploying SMS 2003 when the lead for our upcoming NT4 to Win2K Active Directory migration left.  I was asked to take over the project lead.  I ran into a friend who worked at Microsoft who asked if I wanted to join on Windows Server 2003 pre-beta and Microsoft Software Updates Services (SUS).
• March 2003 we completed our migration to Windows Server 2003 and implemented WSUS 2.0 soon after.  SMS 2003 was held back to test the forthcoming SCCM (beta program).  I began working with ASP, SQL Server, and Windows scripting more and more to automate monitoring and reporting.
• 2003 I released "The Visual LISP Developer's Bible, 2003 Edition"
• By June 2004 I was now wearing three distinct hats:  Active Directory Administration, CAD Administration, and CAD software development.  By 2006 I had offloaded my CAD software development duties to the team with only occasional involvement.  I was now focused on software deployment, patch management, auditing, monitoring and alerts, and SOX compliance.
• In Sept 2007, our company imploded when our CEO decided to fuck us all and leave with a smile.
• I was hired by a Microsoft partner and trained on MDOP, Softgrid (App-V) and doing odds-and-ends Windows engineering work for various small businesses.  I also deployed a full SCCM 2007 site for a city government, which had been a while for me, but it nonetheless went very well.  The biggest impact this had on me was getting my head into non-enterprise environments.  Until now, I had only worked in larger corporate environments with teams devoted to each role.  Now it was about individual services to small customers.  I learned 10x in only a few months.
• After a few months the economy tanked (early 2008), and we were laid off.  I was out looking for a job for several months, but nobody was hiring.  I put food on the table by building web sites for various small customers, and helping a law firm with patent application drawings.
• In June 2008 I was hired back at a former employer and taught the fine art of software repackaging to facilitate mass deployment (by now 18,000 computers, I think?).  Wise Package Studio and Wise Script.  I was also tossed back into FlexLM management and FlexNet Manager (which is pretty interesting).
• In July 2010 I was hired by a consulting firm and now I combine a lot of the above (sans CAD work) into a mash-up of projects and tasks:
• Windows Server 2008 R2 management
  
• Windows 7 deployment and customization
• ASP / SQL Server / AD systems automation
• FlexLM license services
• Autodesk deployment builds and distribution
• Repackaging with Wise Package Studio and InstallShield AdminStudio
• Scripting with VBscript, CMD and PowerShell
• SCCM 2007 process automation and custom reporting
• In 2010 I released more books, and again in 2011
• I have no idea why I'm bothering to type this.  It ultimately means nothing to anyone unless they're spilling food on my resume.  I guess the interesting part, to me anyway, is how my ball has bounced in a very unpredictable pattern.  Looking back, I can see the pattern emerge.  But from any one point along the way there was no discernible pattern or path to be seen.  I have learned from some of the brightest and most interesting people I've ever known, and am grateful and humble to having had those opportunities.  Every job change has been tough to handle since I hate parting ways with good people, but I've somehow managed to keep finding incredible people to continue learning.  If I had millions of dollars, I would love to be able to hire everyone I've known to build a "super team" and make incredible things happen.  I doubt that will become reality, but it would be cool.  I have no idea where my ball will bounce next, or if it will roll in front of a bus and that'll be the end of it.  One day at a time.

* I may be off a bit here, but it was somewhere between 1990 and 1992 as best as I can recall.

IT Job Openings in Hampton Roads, Virginia

The consulting firm I work for has quite a few job openings in the Hampton Roads area that we are trying to fill.  If you live in or near the cities of Norfolk, Chesapeake, Virginia Beach, or Suffolk, and are interested in any of these positions, contact me at ds0934 (at) gmail (dot) com, and attach your resume in MS Word format.  Use the subject line "IT Positions" so I don't tag it as spam.

1. Package/Workstation engineer -   (Wise Installer or AdminStudio, SCCM, Windows 7, etc.)
2. Project Team Engineer - (VMware, Windows, Exchange, AD, light Cisco, SAN)
3. Help Desk Analyst (Windows 7/Office/Light Networking/Great Client phone skills)
4. Macintosh Engineer
5. Engineer for option to hire for large client in Suffolk  (Windows 2008, Exchange, Cisco, Light VMware)
6. Engineer for option to hire for large client in Virginia Beach (Windows 2008, Exchange 2007/2010, AD, VMware)
7. Engineer for option to hire for client in Newports News.  Will be at shipyard.  (Windows, Linux, Light Networking, etc.) CAD experience is nice but not required.

Interview Warnings for the Interviewee

We’ve all read a lot of things to watch out for when interviewing potential candidates for filling position vacancies.  There’s plenty of horror stories to go around, and most of them are based at least in part on fact. I’ve experienced my share of bad interviews from the side of the employer and doing some questioning. 

 

Some of my personal favorite lines from candidates include the following:

“What do I know about [product]?!  It’s more like, what do I NOT know!”

“I don’t write scripts.  That’s for minions to do.”

“Why do I got to know how to speak clearly? I’m applying for a IT job.”

“I can tear apart and fix an iPod and an Xbox 360 on my own.”

But what about the things to watch out for in a potential employer?  You know, the small, even subtle clues hidden within innocent comments strewn throughout your interview discussion that may reveal a horrific nightmare awaiting you on your first day of work.  I’ve learned many of these first-hand, so I can vouch for their validity.  Here’s a few to take notice of:

“We do not write any code here. Everything is off-the-shelf or out-of-the-box”

Translation: We are too ignorant and scared to death of tinkering with our precious technology.  We might break something.  Change is evil.  Things should remain unchanged forever.  An object in motion tends to stay in motion unless acted upon by dangerously unapproved forces which must be prevented at all costs.

“This position requires a wide range of software, hardware, networking, storage, database, programming, web development, and helpdesk expertise.”

Translation: We are going to dump a mountain of shit on your head and pay you less than what an expert in any one of these “skills” would normally earn.  It also means our top priority is cutting costs (one person, many hats) rather than accomplishing a meaningful improvement.  You will work insane hours and either burn out or check into a rehab clinic within a year.

“We are a 100% [vendor name] shop here! We don’t even consider other vendors.”

Translation: We have drank (or drunk?) the Kool-Aid from the crotch of our vendor masters. We expect you to do the same. Making bold claims is higher priority than searching for a truly optimal (and cost-effective) solution. If the interviewer also happens to be wearing vendor apparel (shirts, ball caps, coffee cups, underwear, tampons, etc.) be especially careful. This is not going to be a very open-minded shop to work in.

“We are strictly a nine to five operation here”

Translation:  Hours trump innovation and quality.

“We let the last guy go because he lacked the skills we needed”

Translation: We will talk shit about someone you don’t know in front of people they don’t know.  What will they say about you later on.

“Training?  That’s something you do on your own time”

Translation: Run for the door.  Don’t say another word.

“I know the position you applied for is [x], but we really need a [y]”

Translation: We are desperate!  DESPERATE! We may have had several key personal up and quit suddenly and we are doing everything in our power not to look scared shitless.

“Have you worked with Excel databases before?”

Translation:  I am a complete idiot from the Human Resources department, who was chosen to interview IT candidates and I have absolutely zero knowledge of IT terms, and concepts.  I probably won’t even remember this interview when you leave.  Good luck!

“How would you approach this project we just described?”

Translation: We are fishing for help by pretending to interview you, but really we are just picking your brain to do it ourselves and have no intention of hiring you or anyone else.

Barriers to Change in the IT Department

If you listen to vendors and book authors, you'll quickly come to believe that everyone working in the IT world on this planet is moving ahead of you and you are falling behind.  That is: UNLESS you adopt the newest, latest, greatest, coolest, neatest, most awesome increditastical technology/product (the one they are pushing in your face).

Don't buy that storyline.

Think you're the only person still using VBScript and not moving into PowerShell?  Wrong.

Think you're the only person not building web sites with ASP.NET?  Dead wrong.

Think you're the only person not entirely done migrating your data center to virtual services?  Nope.

The problem isn't that IT folks resist change.  Ok, well, a lot of them do (ironic, isn't it?).  It's really a pretty simple story:

Time and Budget.

Especially so in the current stinky economy, where many IT departments are understaffed, underbudgeted, and overstretched on things to do.  There's simply no time to stop and regroup on a new thing.  Sure, some will argue the infamous sales-pitch line: "You can't afford NOT to".  Logically, that is the most illogical dumbass statement ever invented by sales people sitting around a lap dance couchset in a Vegas strip club.  They sure get a lot of mileage from it though.  We'd all love to be 100% on par with the current trends.  We've been beat over the head again and again with a tube sock filled with the wood screws of technology vendor demos and presentations.  We get it.  The new stuff is awesome.

But right now, I can't get my CIO/CFO/CTO/CxO to buy me some slack (and time) to learn new things in my un-budgeted lab, and my wife/husband/significant-other will soon start looking for a new significant other if I continue to carve out personal time for the benefit of my employer.  I've heard this story so many times I can lip synch it to the tune of anything by Lady Gaga.  We're overstretched.

Now, let me spew some disclaimers: I'm a consultant.  I don't necessarily fit into this particular scenario, BUT I see it and experience it all the time through contact with customers and emails and phone calls.  The IT world is busy.  Too busy to rewrite all their scripts in PowerShell.  Too busy to move all their databases from SQL 2005 to 2008 R2 (and soon Denali).  Too busy to get the last two servers virtualized.  Too busy to finish migrating all the desktops, laptops and tablets to Windows 7.  But they're trying.  They are trying in between answering phone calls from absolute dumbass users with stupid questions, gripes and requests about things like Little Kitty screensavers, dancing flower mouse cursors and how to print their grandkids photos.  They're busy fixing the printer that someone keeps jamming.  Emptying mailboxes for users that refuse to and wonder why it's causing problems.  Busy trying to test all the patches every month AND get all the machines patched, including the ones that users like to turn off every night.

Busy Busy Busy.

So, if you're starting to feel panicky about falling behind: don't.  Relax.  There will be time to catch up.  Fit it in when you can.  When you get some precious time at the office, take advantage of it.  Keep your personal time for your personal life.  DO NOT sacrifice your personal life for technology.  That's a short term gain for a long term loss.

Cheers!

IT Jobs

I don't have a crystal ball, but it seems that the IT sector has fared much better than other careers during this recession.  I'm not saying it wasn't impacted.  I was on the front line of the IT impact when the consulting firm I was working for decided to close the local branch and I was on the street - and at the worst possible time: The beginning of the crash.  For three months I searched and found nothing.  Friends, family, colleagues, all tried to help, but employers were just too risk-averse to hire anyone in early-mid 2008.  While other areas like construction, sales, real estate, automotive, transportation services and tourism were taking a heavy hit - layoffs - the IT market was holding tight.  And I mean VERY tight.  While other areas were tossing out the babies with the bath water, IT, for the most part, was spooning out just the specific amount of water and leaving the babies alone.

But over the past year, I've seen a significant rebound in the IT job market.  Particularly along the east coast of the U.S.  The number of contract, temp, temp-to-hire, and full-time offers streaming in from recruiters has grown from one or two per week to one or two per day.  That's a good sign.

It's a great time to get moving on your IT career plans.  Opportunities are growing, jobs are opening up, and the projects are becoming much more interesting.  For years we've been faced with plugging holes.  Most shops are maturing and the types of projects are shifting from damage control into forward planning and optimization.  Bridging gaps, leveraging heterogenious systems, and automation are becoming key project goals across the industry.  Conversations are shifting from "I can't work on that project right now because I have to fix these five other broken things" to "things are working pretty well now, let's work on making our processes work better".

After a decade of mindless, boneheaded blabbering by IT shops that "outsourcing" and "offshoring" were the wave of the future, the net result has been a decrease in interest in working in the IT field for most high school kids in the U.S.  Ask around and you'll see.  Many still think it's a dead-end career.  Mostly because they've heard from others that jobs were being moved to cheaper countries.  Thanks to almost every big-ticket U.S. corporation for spreading that mantra - not!  The opportunities are actually very good, and it appears there are serious shortages of IT applicants in many areas. Recruiters are facing a tough challenge finding U.S. citizens to fill job openings, and are, ironically, having to turn to foreign applicants to fill them.  Reality follows hype, it seems.

By the way, if you know anyone looking for IT work in the Southeastern region of Virginia, there are plenty of IT jobs.  The City of Virginia Beach is looking for a good Systems Engineer.  Some of the skills they're looking for include:

• Windows Server 2008 and 2008 R2
• Active Directory
• SharePoint 2010
• Exchange 2007 and 2010
• System Center VMM (Hyper-V)
• System Center Data Protection Manager
• System Center Configuration Manager
• Lefthand and NetApp storage
• WebSense
• Citrix

If you, or someone you know, is interested, go to http://www.vbcareers4gov.com and click on "Search Postings" to find available positions.

Working IT Moms

I am all in favor of women in the IT business.  I'm all in favor of anyone in the IT business...

As long as they know what they're doing.

But -

These days it seems a lot of folks telecommute (not my company however) and moms are a very common telecommuting sector of the IT community.

Please - Please - Please --> All you working-from-home IT moms:

PUT YOUR PHONES ON MUTE WHEN YOUR BABY CRIES OR YOUR KIDS COME BEGGING FOR ATTENTION

Here’s why:

You may think you are showing dedication and determination to your coworkers on the phone.  But what they’re thinking is:  If you can ignore your own kid for that long, what ELSE are you ignoring?  And… If work is more important to you than your own family, what does that say about your ability to prioritize?

Real World Flu Recommendations

I got a chuckle out of the latest re-hash of the PSA’s for fighting off the Flu with good hygene.  The latest one has Sen. Mark Warner telling us to sneeze in our sleeves, etc. etc.  Here’s my advice…

Sneeze or Cough into the face of the most annoying co-worker.

You’ll be the hero of your office.

Cert Exams Week - Thoughts About Age versus Business Value-Add

I'm in the midst of a six-day, three exam, "boot camp" course in Hampton, VA. So far, I've passed two of the exams. The last one is this Saturday. If I pass that one, I will move from MCSA/2003 to MCITP-SA/2008, so I will be a happy camper. Scoff if you want, but every little bit helps. Especially since I work in the IT field and am 45 years old.

Age, generally speaking, goes against you in the IT field, except for a subset of the overall U.S. IT job market. With 18 year old kids coming out of high school with their MCITP, VCP, CCNA certs (no, I am not exaggerating one bit here), they are cheaper to hire, tend to devote longer hours at work (no family to run home to support, no sick babies to tend to, no house repairs, etc.) and so on.

So, being older, more expensive (generally), more encumbered with obligations outside of the workplace, and so on, it's a no-brainer that employers are looking for the best bang for their buck. Sure you can say that "experience" counts, but that only factors into places that value experience over a cheaper price tag. My employer is a rarity in that they do still value experience, so I am indeed lucky.  And considering I am also lucky to be able to take part in an education assistance program during a Recession like this is an added bonus.

Anyhow, I've passed 83-640, 70-642 and next up is 70-646.  Tomorrow will be a full-bore lecture and study day.  Tonight I'm going to give my brain a break.

Job Position Available: Linux Security Remediation, Bethesda, MD

A friend of mine at a company in the DC Metro area called to see if knew anyone that would fit the role of Security Remediation Specialist for Linux systems in the Bethesda, MD or N. Virginia area. Its a long-term, perm position. If you or anyone you know may be interested post a feedback comment. Thanks!

I'm Back!

I was trying to post a mix of personal and professional (well, sort of) crap on my other blog (www.blogcastrepository.com/blogs/skatterbrainz) but that was causing some issues with trying to focus on the goals of that site in general. I was trying to post more content to promote the video learning sessions I've posted on the Level 5 IT Guides section, but that effort has been painfully slow to take off. I still have more work to do on it, but my time is becoming increasingly limited.

After two months without a job, I started my own business and that's been consuming all my time now. My kids each have their own sports things going on so that eats the remaining time, in between starting a new day job, eating, sleeping and commuting. The commute to the new job is about 30 minutes in the morning, and one hour in the evening. On Fridays it's 2 hours. I've got to trade my truck in for something smaller and better on gas.

This whole ordeal has been a life-changing event for me. When you get laid off you really discover things about yourself, your goals and beliefs. You find out who your friends are. I was amazed who stuck their neck out for me to help me through this period, and who simply talked or those that just went silent on me. I've been re-evaluating everything and have decided to reign in my efforts and focus on my job and my family for now. The time I was spending trying to swim upstream and "get ahead" was doing well for me for years, until this year. This year I've discovered that many of my expectations were simply wrong. I had aspirations to be much more than God set me up for. The skills I thought had value turned out to have zero value. I've spent years building up nothing and now I'm going to stop and change directions. Keep things simple. I could be bitter or depressed, but I'm not. I've just realized at 44, finally, that I'm not going to be a wealthy entrepreneur or "successful" visionary that I always thought I would be. I'm just Dave.