If You’re Looking for Fun: Don’t Come to Virginia Beach

I’ve lived here for eleven years.  Before that, I lived across the bay in Hampton and Newport News for about 30 years.  I used to think Virginia Beach was a cool place to live, and I believe that it once was just that.  But not anymore.

For years, the city has made a focused effort to close the biggest park in the city: Mount Trashmore Park, whenever it snows.  This is the only park in the city with hills large enough and tall enough to slide down when there’s snow.  Granted, we only get enough snow to actually slide on about once every 5 years or so.

Why is this?

Some say it is due to legal risk mitigation.

That can’t be logical, given the fact that they spent a fortune building a public skate park, on a concrete slab, within 50 yards of the hills at that same park.  If you spend fifteen minutes near that skate park on any given sunny day, you will absolutely see a barrage of kids face-planting into the concrete on an average of five second intervals.  Pads, helmets, regardless, they bruise and break elbows, knees, wrists and many don’t wear their helmets and hurt their heads as well.  So how could the city lawyers rationalize having such a skate park while not allowing you to slide down a big, smoothly sloped hill covered with snow?

Some say it is to protect the fine grass covering on the hills.

So, why then does the city sponsor a huge July 4th fireworks event? That event typically draws thousands of people to the park, who completely cover the main hill and all of the grounds nearby.  The grass was replanted back in 2003 as part of a huge, over-priced project, and then died within a year and remains brown almost year-round.

The real reason is fear.  The city is afraid of law suits.  So, my prediction is that they’ll stop doing the July 4th fireworks events there, and they’ll probably close the skate park soon.  Both of those could be sources of potential law suits, and we can’t have that here.  No no.  Fear is good.  Fun is bad.

Apple iPad vs Amazon Kindle DX

Like everyone else, I tuned in to see the amazing iPad announcement.  Only problem was that it really wasn’t that amazing to me.  I was really expecting more.  I expected a price range from $800 to $1000, but it came at $500 to $830, which isn’t bad really. But the specs themselves were (are) simply not that impressive.  The knee-jerk reactions have been about iPad being a “Kindle killer”.  But it’s not.  They don’t play in the same space, nor are they in the same price range.  However, the Kindle DX *IS* in the same price range, so this is more of an “Apples-to-Apples” comparison I think.   These are the specs I’ve gathered myself from the respective vendor web sites and from tech-review sites (where information was missing from the vendor site).

Items in green are what I consider to be the “winner” between the two products.  So, you do the comparison math and see which one wins out in the end.

Feature	Apple iPad	Amazon Kindle DX
Price	$499.00	$489.00
Overall Dimensions	9.56 x 7.47 x 0.5 inches	10.4 x 7.2 x 0.38 inches
Weight	1.5 lbs	1.2 lbs
Processor	Apple A4 1GHz	Freescale ARM11, 532 MHz
Wireless (Wi-Fi)	802.11n	N/A
Cell Processor	?	Qualcomm
Cellular 3G, Domestic (US)	Yes	Yes
Cellular 3G, Global	Optional	Yes
Cellular Modes	HSDPA, GSM/EDGE	HSDPA, GSM/EDGE, GPRS
Wireless Service Bundled in Price	No	Yes
Screen Size	9.7 inch diagonal	9.7 inch diagonal
Screen Type	1024 x 768, 720p Color	600 x 800 p, 16-lvl gray
USB 2.0 port	Yes	Yes
Screen Illumination [2]	LED Backlit	Passive
Cover/Case Included	No	No
Auto-Rotation Display	Yes	Yes
Accelerometer	Yes	No
Touch Screen UI	Yes	No
Web Browser	Safari	Proprietary
Storage (built-in)	16 GB	4 GB
Storage Max (internal)	64 GB	4 GB
Applications	App Store (iPhone apps)	Coming Soon
Supports Flash content	No	No
Supports H.264 content	Yes	No
Matte Display for Reading	Yes	Yes
Battery Life (Wi-Fi active) [1]	10 hrs	1 week
Battery Replacement	Sealed, Factory	Sealed, Factory
Book Store	Apple	Amazon
Book Format	ePub	Amazon
PDF Support	Yes	Yes
Magazine Subscriptions	Yes	Yes
Newspaper Subscriptions	Yes	Yes
Podcast Subscriptions	Yes	Yes
Blog Subscriptions	Yes	Yes
Geographic Maps	Yes	No
Calendar	Yes	No
Plays Games	Yes	No
Music Library [3]	iTunes	MP3
Movie Library	iTunes	N/A
Photo Library	iTunes	(monochrome)
Dictionary Search	App Store (iPhone apps)	Built-In
Text-to-Speech ("Read to Me")	No	Yes
Bluetooth 2.1	Yes	No
Requires Computer Synch	Yes	No
GPS Features	Yes	No
Ambient Light Sensor	Yes	No
Audio Formats	MP3, WAV, AIFF, AAC	MP3
Keyboard Input	Touch Screen	Mechanical
Navigation Input	Touch Screen	Mechanical
Devloper SDK Available	Yes	Yes

[Notes]

1. Battery life claimed by vendor under slightly different usage.

2. Depends on personal view.  If used in the dark, backlit is better.  If used outdoors, passive is better.

3. Depends on whether you value MP3 library content more than iTunes purchased content.

Review: Apple iPad

Eh.  I was expecting a LOT more.

Small Business Windows Admin Checklist

Something I’ve seen at former employer’s and at clients I visited while working as a consultant is a lack of attention to properly backing up at least a minimal footprint of your environment.  This is crucial for dealing with the unthinkable situation of having to rebuild from a total failure (e.g. catastrophe).  Read the summary at the end also…

• Run domain controller diagnostics at least monthly:
  • RepAdmin
  • DCDiag
  • NetDiag
• Standard passwords:
  • Standard DSRM password on all domain controllers
  • Standard Admin password on all servers
  • Standard Admin password on all desktops/laptops
  • Admin passwords are changed at least once per year (hopefully more often)
• Event Logs:
  • Check domain controller event logs at least weekly
  • Check server event logs at least weekly
• Scheduled Backups:
  • System State backups on all domain controllers
  • System State backups on all servers
  • Data backups on all servers
  • Group Policy export/backups
• DHCP scope backups
• DNS zone backups (if not AD integrated)
• Export Scheduled Tasks (Windows Server 2008, Windows 7 or later)
• Document – Document – Document (everything!)
• Use Mozy or something like it for offline/offsite archival!

Summary

If you skip the last two steps, you’re really not doing this right.  You need to document how everything is configured, how it’s backed up and to where, and most importantly: HOW TO RESTORE IT PROPERLY.  If you drop dead or your office is wiped out from a plane crash, someone will need to use your stuff to rebuild again.  If you don’t leave them enough to do it correctly, why are you even bothering to do this at all?

Is this list complete?  No.  But it’s a good start.

Even if YOU are the person who has to rebuild everything, you will be amazed how much you forget after a few months, especially when under the pressure of dealing with the catastrophy, the business impact, the angry staff and demanding bosses, and getting the hardware situation under control.

By the way, VMware or other virtualization solutions are fantastic for testing out your DR plan and making sure it will really work.

Score Card: Effectiveness of World Donations

Did we cure homelessness in America with the “Hands Across America” effort?

Did we cure AIDS and HIV with all the concerts and telethons?

Is world hunger fixed from all the concerts and TV commercials?

Is the starvation problem in Africa all gone since we emptied our pockets for “Feed the World” and all the other concerts?

Is there really less suffering, starvation, disease, war and anguish in our world today as a result of any of our concerts, telethons and distant donations?

We keep shelling out money to every catastrophe that makes the news, yet after the media frenzy subsides, it goes back to status quo.  Hunger in Africa has not improved at all.  Not in Bangladesh either.  There’s as many homeless in America as ever, maybe more (the census might help shed some clarity on that soon, who knows).  AIDS didn’t get dented by world donations.  It got dented by big pharma doing research into cocktails that seem to be having at least a marginal impact (that’s spelled: p-r-o-f-i-t  by the way).

Now it’s Haiti.  Let’s see.  Haiti.  The country that was bitch-slapped into oblivion by the U.S. in the early 20th century, and then even moreso by French colonial rule.  Then when Baby Doc whats-his-name took over, and started chopping people up with machetes, the aristocracy (or what was left of them) and the wealthy and educated, were hastily evacuated.  That left behind a broken country with a bankrupted and horribly corrupted government, uneducated working class, but without any industry for which to work.  So then they stand around and find something else to do.  This never turns out well of course.

In comes the Earthquake, and then the world pity and influx of “aid” and money.  After the rubble is cleared, the bodies buried, and the land cleaned up, what then? 

Everyone forgets to ask why there was a U.N. presence in Haiti.  Ever wonder about that?  It’s because it had turned into a horrific cesspool of depravity and despair.  Two “d” words that never make people feel good.

Let’s cut to the chase - What will happen is this: The mess from the Earthquake will be cleared out and cleaned up.  Soon after it will become apparent that there is no positive, hopeful “end game” to be had.  Strategists will look for a graceful exit and by that time a bigger news story will unfold which will distract us all enough to not notice (or care) that the “aid” is being removed and the situation will return to the horrific mess it was before.

Meanwhile, we all feel better, content, even elated, that we “made a difference” by texting our $10 to whatever to fund the “relief effort” in some abstract way.  We gave the bleeding person a bandaid and left them beside the road, facing a pack of hungry lions.  Sounds harsh, but let’s be honest: that’s what it is.

It’s handing them a fish but not bothering to teach them how to fish.  But to be fair, it’s not really our fault.  It’s on the shoulders of France really.  France should get off their fucking asses and take the lead on this effort.  I’m not saying they should do it alone.  But they should be taking the lead.  Visibly.  Meaningfully.  But they’re not. Because ultimately: France doesn’t give a fucking shit about Haiti or Haitians.  They know everyone else will rush to their phones to text $10 and forget that France was ever implicated in the downfall and desolution of Haiti.

Sound familiar?

It should.  It’s from the same international government aid playbook that’s been in use for over 100 years.

Remove DLL Register/Unregister Using PsExec

Problem:

You want to register or unregister a .DLL file on a remote computer, but
you do not want to (or cannot) remote in with Carbon Copy, Remote
Desktop, etc.

Solution:

Use Microsoft Sysinternals "PSEXEC" to invoke the process remotely.
How:

1. Download psexec.exe from http://live.sysinternals.com/tools and save
   it to a folder on your C: drive
2. Open a CMD console using RunAs and your Admin-level account
3. Collect information to get started:
           - Computer Name (remote computer)
           - Path and Name of the .DLL file
4. Run the psexec.exe utility with the appropriate syntax...

To Register a "DllName.dll" file residing in the C:\Windows\System32
folder on "Computer1"...

Psexec \\Computer1 regsvr32 /s c:\windows\system32\dllname.dll

To Unregister the same .DLL file...

Psexec \\Computer1 regsvr32 /u /s c:\windows\system32\dllname.dll

Things You Don’t Want to Hear After Your Surgery

• "How does your ass feel?"
• "We think we got it all"
• "What were we supposed to remove again?"
• "I know we planned on removing only one of your __, but..."
• "When can we schedule your second procedure?"
• "There was a problem with your insurance"
• "I'm afraid that..." Or "I'm sorry but..."
• "Well, the good news is that..."
• "We're going to need you to sign a few more consent forms."
• The sound of muffled chuckling and straight faces all around you.

Autodesk Enterprise Customers (follow-up)

I said I would keep everyone updated on any progress regarding the whole Autodesk fiasco I discussed some months ago (“Dear Autodesk: Please Consult Your Enterprise Customers”).  Well, true to their word, we recieved invitations to fill-out an online survey to be accepted into a customer council of some sort.  The goal of which is to start a dialog with select customers in order to improve products and services.  We (my co-worker and I) filled it out and are awaiting the next step, so the ball is in Autodesk’s court at this point.

So, up to now, we’ve had two phone discussions with Autodesk and aired our suggestions and frustrations to them.  The discussions were open, frank and seemingly sincere, based upon their counter-questions and follow-ups.  From a pragmatic standpoint, that’s it.  Discussion and a survey.  Nothing more concrete than that.  If and when we procede to the next step, I will post more.  Our fingers are still crossed, always the optimist.

Run Silent. Run Deep

I haven’t made a New Year’s resolution since I turned 21.  I’ve always thought they were the dumbest things in the world.  I put them in the same category as the “Christmas Spirit” which defies logic.  Mainly: why is it considered “ok” to get in a loving spirit once a year?   Anyhow, I made a resolution this year, of which I have been slow to implement.  And that is to start shutting up.  Less Facebook.  Less Twitter.  Less blog.  Less Google Reader Shared items.  Less me. 

People who know me, and who want to know how I’m doing, really, can pick up a phone and call me.  The old fashion way works best.  I feel Facebook is a cop-out for those who don’t want to really bother with “staying in touch” as much as keeping tabs on people.  There is a difference. 

Facebook makes it too easy for casual friends to open the door into your inner circle and daily events.  People who you’d probably never call or expect to call you, especially on the weekend.  To me that makes it disingenuous.  And above all that low-level irritation is the fact that I’m not Brad Pitt, or Steve Jobs, or anyone that really matters in this world as far as broadcasting an opinion.  What I think about politics, movies, games, computers and so on really doesn’t matter.  It just seems to be a matter of ego and promoting self-worth.  I don’t need either of those.  I’m just me.  Maybe if I win a big award or star in a movie someday I’ll have a reason to blabber more, and then I’d probably more interesting things to say.

Happy 2010

Why I Feel Politics is For Kool-Aid Drinking Idiots

We try to draw physical boundaries (states, counties) around illogical regions (blue-tards vs red-tards).  Which has always added confusion to our landscape in America as far as how we expect people to vote.  Every state has varying degrees of left-vs-right depending on which geographic area you happen to be in.

But I don't buy into the notion that one side of the tired left-vs-right debate has inherently "better" followers than the other.  The red-tards are knuckle-dragging, tobacco-chewing neanderthals for the most part, but the blue-tards tend to be smug, obnoxiously close-minded and prima-donna-ish while espousing having a more "open mind" yet any counter-opinion is immediately and venomously attacked as being red.  If you’re not blue, then the blue-tards call you red.  If you’re not red, the red-tards call you blue.  There is no tolerance for purple or green, not from either side.  I see it is another cycle in the long rolling history of America's polarization, which follows economic cycles.  

When things are bad, the red-tards come out swinging with anti-immigration and conservative rhetoric, church this, school that, and the usual book-burning diatribe of isolationist idealism.  But the blue-tards come out with the kool-aid and insist everyone drink it and all will be fine.  Gay tolerance for everyone, no bounds on topics for books tv radio for anyone, regardless of age or (gulp!) religious leanings, no more torturing peoples that want to destroy us, pass all kids through school regardless of their ability to add numbers or read a sentence and so on.  One side is no free lunch, not even if you’re starving to death.  The other insists on free lunches for all, even those who have a full refrigerator.

I ask this question to everyone that jumps into political discussion after each election: what has really changed from this?  Tell me.  What specific improvements have you seen that directly impact your life?  Every time it’s the same response:  A lot of hemming and hawing.  Let me translate that answer for you: NOTHING.

Looking over the elections of the past 30 odd years that I’ve been involved or familiar with, I can summarize the impacts of each election:

• It impacts the lives of people in oppressed lands around the world
• It impacts the lives of people in disaster-stricken areas
• It impacts the world markets
• It impacts the banks and financial systems
• It impacts defense spending
• It does nothing for Americans

I’d like to see improvements to public education, health care, the environment, transportation, personal taxation, energy resources, national security, space exploration, undersea exploration, and the general well-being of mankind around the planet. 

But we will never see that. 

Why?  Because no two humans agree on what those improvements should be.  Some actually think those individual topics are fine as they are or should actually be eliminated.   Politicians simply play to the statistical base of their demographics.  They have to, or they don’t have a paycheck to count on.  They will eternally tell us what they think we want to hear.  Why wouldn’t they?  That’s why you will never hear a politician directly admit that we’re in the midst of a religious war around the globe.  That would be political suicide.

So ask yourself how the following issues have been improved as a DIRECT result of any given election:

• Conflict in the Middle East (as bad as ever)
• Public Education (as bad as ever, maybe worse)
• Public Health (worse than ever, even statistical mortality)
• Environment
• Taxation (ha!)
• Transportation (in isolated areas it has improved.  overall it’s worse)
• Terrorism (oooooh.  Not better, sorry)
• Economy (nope.  it heals itself.  everyone else just takes credit)
• Unemployment (same)
• Immigration (same)
• Gay marriage (hey, didn’t they promise this too?)
• Drug Enforcement and Drug Crimes (no difference at all, ever)

I have voted for blue as often as red.  Not because I’m keeping a quota, but because:

• There are usually only those two choices
• I vote by individual clarity of agenda (i.e. do they have a lucid plan?)

And when neither side has an idiot-liar, oops, I meant “candidate”, I feel is worth voting for?  I skip.  It hasn’t hurt anyone, so relax.

Wearing a badge does not make a person automatically viable, smart or worthy of my vote.  That's my biggest gripe.  I'm just fucking tired of people telling me I have to drink the kool aid.  I stopped drinking that crap years ago.  I don’t give a shit about NASCAR or gay marriage.  So the next time you feel like trying to aim your bullhorn in my direction, just please STFU.

Wizzdom

Wisdom I've absorbed over the years:

• Never confuse "can" with "may" or "could" with "should"
• Always under-promise and over-deliver
• Never make a promise you can't keep
• Always use the proper tool for a given job
• Keeping "a step ahead" only works if you're not in a mine field
• One idiot is more powerful than five geniuses
• Everybody is good at something.  And they suck horribly at something
  else
• Unless you are paid to have an opinion, shut up
• You can tell everything of how a company values its employees by the
  parking lots and bathrooms
• A business is not a collection of "departments" and "resources".  It is
  just people
• You can never change anyone's mind
• Judge people by their actions, not their words
• If you don't know the answer to a question, just say so

Did you know: You can Automate Org Charts from Active Directory?

Yep.  You can.  Here’s all you need: A Windows Active Directory network Microsoft Visio A Brain Some coffee Access to Google

HRIS to AD Automation

The diagram should explain itself.  If you have a business that uses an HRIS product of any kind (PeopleSoft, Oracle, CostPoint, SAP, whatever) and have an Active Directory environment, *AND* you’re not automating the creation of user accounts (and group memberships) you’re an idiot (or just clueless).  The diagram box labelled “Process” (see example) is so simple to implement it would make a third grader shake their head in disbelief that an adult couldn’t figure it out.  It really is simple.  There are scripts falling out of peoples asses across the Internet that make this easy to do.  So, if you’re not doing this, get busy.

This is Why Lawyers Have a Bad Reputation

Seriously? Read the “Warning” information in the image at left.  This is a tube of Carmex lip balm.  It says “External Use Only”?  “Avoid contact with eyes”?  I suppose if you have Cerebral Palsy or a bad case of Tourette’s or just a regular case of too many bottles of 5-hour Energy Drink, then you might spaz out and poke it into your eye or up your ass or something.  Wow.

Go ahead and laugh, but I predict that soon we’ll be seeing warning labels on everything from doors, to tennis shoes to baseball caps.  I mean, my can of WD-40 says “point nozzle away from face”.  Deoderant says to “avoid use near open flame”.  Here’s a sample of how fucking stupid we’ve become:

Doors: “Warning: Injury may result from failure to open with caution or without moving out of the path of the opening door.  Keep fingers and other body parts away from door closure and jamb.  Failure to do so may result in injury or amputation.  Keep small pets and animals away from door operating area at all times.  Children should be assisted by an adult to avoid injury.”

Baseball Caps: “Warning: Do not place cap over face or injury may result from obstructed vision.  Never wear over face while driving or operating machinery.  Never place adjustable strap around neck.  Cap may become entangled in protruding objects and could cause injury.”

Tennis Shoes: “Warning: Shoes are intended for use on feet only.  Injury may result from misuse or failure to place shoes on the correct foot (left or right) or on other limbs/extremities (arms, feet, head).  Never wear shoes which are not sized properly for your feet.  Failure to tie shoe laces may result in tripping, falling, entanglement, which may result in injury or death.  Never tie laces around neck or feed to small animals.”

I could go on and on and on with this, but you get the point.  It’s coming.  You just wait and see.

Is America “Number 1” at Anything Now?

Let’s take a look…

(name) = country ranked #1
[x] = U.S. ranking

Category	U.S. Rank	Who is #1?
Marriage Rate (per 1000 people)	1
Divorce rate (per 1000 people)	1
Obesity Rate (per capita)	1
Prisoners (per capita)	1
Car Thefts (total)	1
High School Graduation Rate (per capita)	>158	Kirbati
Teachers as % of Labor Force	15	Iceland
Children Out-of-School (Primary level, total)	3	Pakistan
Mandatory Primary Schooling (years)	7	Germany (13 yrs)
Infant Mortality (per capita)	46	Iceland
Defense Spending (% GDP)	18	Eritrea
Military Personnel (active duty)	3	China
Manufacturing (value per $1000 GDP)	75	Thailand
Gross National Income (per capita)	5	Luxemborg
Patent Filings (by residents only)	2	Japan
Suicide Rates (per capita)	7	New Zeeland
Murder Rates (per capita)	25	Columbia
Birth Rates (per capita)	153	Niger
Married Couples with Children (per 1000)	22	Italy
Single-Parent Households (with children)	3	Canada
Total Death Rate (per 1000)	94	Botswana
Death by Cardiac Arrest	2	Egypt
Death by Cancer	9	Netherlands
Death by HIV/AIDS	34	South Africa
Infant Deaths (per 1000 live births)	152	Afghanistan
Abortions (per capita)	6	Russia
Automotive Sales	2	China
Automotive Manufacturing	3	China
Railway Passengers (per capita)	73	Switzerland
Broadband Access (per capita)	16	South Korea
Life Expectancy at Birth (male)	49	Macau
Official Executions	7	China
Drug Offenses (prosecuted)	41	Germany
Food Production (total output)	81	Tajikistan
Labor Hours Worked (total)	3	Australia
Labor Force Foreign Nationals %	5	Luxemborg
Education Spending (% of GDP)	37	Cuba
Bank Liquid Reserves Ratio (index)	165	Panama
Debt (per $ GDP)	52	Iraq
Components of Property Taxation	3	United Kingdom
Tax Contribution by Middle 40% (% of total taxes)	13	Denmark
Highest Marginal Income Tax Rate	41	Camaroon
Total Tax Rate (as % of GDP)	17	Sweden
Jews (per capita)	4	Israel

Sources: CIA World Factbook, U.S. Census Bureau, Gallup, UN / WHO, World Psychiatry Assoc. (via NCBI), WIPO, USPTO, US FTC, US DOC, NationMaster.com (UNESCO), World Bank