Things You Don’t Want to Hear After Your Surgery

• "How does your ass feel?"
• "We think we got it all"
• "What were we supposed to remove again?"
• "I know we planned on removing only one of your __, but..."
• "When can we schedule your second procedure?"
• "There was a problem with your insurance"
• "I'm afraid that..." Or "I'm sorry but..."
• "Well, the good news is that..."
• "We're going to need you to sign a few more consent forms."
• The sound of muffled chuckling and straight faces all around you.