If I were King for a Day

I would…

• Outlaw bow ties
• Outlaw showing underwear in public
• Make it MUCH more difficult and expensive to obtain a drivers license
• Eliminate Turn Signals and Ash Trays (nobody uses them)
• Impose a Waiting Period for Movies to produce merchandising
• Require an equal amount of time in movies between violence and graphic sex
• No waiting period between a murder conviction and execution
• Violence against, or exploitation of children would be punished by limb amputation
• Impose a limit on cop/lawyer shows on TV
• Impose fines for bad weather forecasts
• Eliminate SOX
• Absolve all outstanding mortgages for American’s earning less than $250k
• Provide 100% college education grants for students maintaining GPA=4+ or anyone serving more than 4 years in the military
• Impose taxes on companies that outsource jobs overseas
• I still have 23 hours left to think of more…

Lighting a Fire without Matches

EMBED-Guys Start Bon Fire With Jet Engine - Watch more free videos

The Usual Suspects

Google Chrome Pinned Tabs Feature

Google’s ChromeOS has a really nice feature for making pinned tabs permanent, so that each time you fire it up your favorite pinned tabs remain, well, pinned.  This isn’t available within the Chrome 4.x web browser yet, at least not within the UI, but it is available via the command line.  So this means you can modify your Chrome shortcut to launch with a predefined set of tabs already pinned.  Thanks to “Randald” posting on LifeHacker for this tip by the way!

1. Right-click the Chrome shortcut, and click Properties
2. Modify the launch “Target” to append “ --pinned-tab-count=X” (where “X” is the number of URL tabs you want to open and have pinned)  The format is as follows:
   
   …chrome.exe --pinned-tab-count=X <url> <url> <url>…
   
3. Be sure to use 2 dashes in front of the “pinned-tab-count=” parameter.
4. Click OK.  Then launch the shortcut

An example of how this would look with 2 URL tabs pinned: Gmail and Google Wave…

…chrome.exe --pinned-tab-count=2 http://gmail.com http://wave.google.com

Windows 7 tip:

If you have Chrome pinned on your Task bar, when you right-click it opens the “jump list” by default.  To access the actual shortcut “properties” option, simply right-click on the jump list entry for “Google Chrome” near the bottom, and click on the “Properties” item on the pop-up list.

Oops?! Google Covers its Search Results with an Apology

Well, sometimes SEO goes awry.  Google has already issued a public statement of apology for the top result image for a search on “Michelle Obama” being the one you see below.  I captured it before they took it down.  However, what this fails to make painfully obvious is that their search system is not really organic by any stretch of the imagination.  The fact that Google (or MSN, or Yahoo! or anyone else) can manipulate the results to remove something deemed offensive is clear proof that the results are already manipulated.

Presidential Report Card: F

So, the news today is that Obama has decided to pass on his promise to ban land mines (see report).  I’m was not at all surprised.  Yet another long-winded promise to sooth the peaceniks and improve his public opinion score (among peaceniks only, of course).

Say what you want, but this only reinforces my firm belief that politicians are all just opportunists with a budget and a PR team. A good speech writer doesn't hurt either.

Let's see...

• Land mines banned: F
• Gitmo closed: F
• Wars ended: F
• Improved soldier PTSD program in place: F
• New Orleans cleaned up: F
• "Green" jobs a-plenty: F
• Improved education system: F
• Improved space exploration programs: F
• Improved scientific research grant system: F
• "Shovel-ready" jobs: F
• Recession "over" = "mission accomplished": F (unless you really believe the hype)
• Changes to food ingredient labeling (as promised): F
• Improved immigration policies: F
• Border protection/monitoring improvements: F
• Defense procurement/integrity improvements: F
• Improved black/white race relations: F, I can't see any difference
• Changes to address long-standing FDA problems: F
• Changes to address long-standing VA problems: F
• Changes to address looooooong-standing FAA problems: major F
• Changes to improve mass transit systems: F
• Changes to improve Federal highway congestion problems: F
• The Taliban loves America now: F
• Al Qeada loves America now: F
• Iran, N. Korea, Venezuela, Russia loves America now: F

I’ll bet if you look away from your computer screen and think real hard, focusing internally, and ask yourself to identify SPECIFIC things that have REALLY improved as a DIRECT result of the last election, you will come up with ZERO.  ZERO.  The spanish word for nothing is nada.

Again, all I'm saying is that a new face and a new speech does not automatically equate to a better world. A better "feeling" maybe, depending on your predisposition and receptivity to the platform message, but tangibly speaking: no substance at all. This is one reason why I'm voting less and less with each election cycle. I've seen the same shlock foisted upon us too many times and really have lost interest. Bush = Clinton = Bush = McCain = Gore = Obama = [___].

Recommended Reading

Edwin Sarmiento’s blog is always chock full of great stuff, even if he doesn’t post consistently.  A recent post on enabling wireless networking with Windows Server 2008 is very good.

Jeff Hicks’ blog has a great post on using PowerShell to query multiple servers to identify services running under a given service/user account.  This is worth reading if you like scripting, regardless of what language you like.

Fake Steve Jobs is probably the one blog I hit as soon as something is posted.  A great mix of technical and business intellect and humor.  He was recently interviewed by The Unofficial Apple Website (TUAW) as well.  Here’s a good one on Sergei and his monkey socks.

Nouriel Roubini is one of the most respected and feared economists in the world today.  In case you’re feeling too giddy and happy, he will surely bring you down a notch or three.  Ok, maybe five.  Here’s a good but short example.

A Tale of MBA’s Gone Stupid (Again)

Once upon a time there was this little company that did engineering work for a government customer.  They grew fast and instilled a culture of teamwork and reward for effort.  Times were good.  At least, that’s how it appeared on the surface.

Some people (ok, ok, software developers) within this company developed this rather useful piece of software to help them gain a competitive advantage, and it in fact did just that.

Then their competitors came knocking.  They wanted to know if they could buy or license this wunderkind software product to use for their business needs.  And the MBA wizards and warlocks, in their magic capes and cone-shaped hats decided to… (dramatic music here please…) do nothing at all.  They didn’t even give an answer.  Not to the competitors, and not to their own employees who inquired about it.

Months passed without any reply to repeated inquiries from inside and outside of the company.  The wizards had gone into hibernation.  Then at a large meeting of masterminds of genius innovation and ultimate circle-jerking (without Jergens though, no budget for Jergens), the wizards were cornered.  The HPIC (that’s Head Peon In Charge) asked again: “Have you decided what we’re going to do about these requests to license our product?”

One of the wizards asked “why?”.  He then sat back into his oversized chair as if putting the battleship on cruise control and watching the stars streak by in hyperdrive on the way to Alpha Cent-assface.

The leader of the peon-pack, the developer epsilon minion himself responded:

“…Because it would not only bring in additional revenue, sir, but we could require a subscription contract and that would in-turn mean forecast-able revenue.  In addition, it would mean our competitors would by nature become proponents of our product, which would in-turn build momentum for additional licensing and yet more revenue.  Let’s not forget, three of our five competitors are asking, and not just once but every week for the past few months.  And not least: it would mean that our competitors would become dependent upon us for this lifeline of productivity.  These are all positives for us.  Sir.”

The MBA straightened his overpriced suit, positioned his pen on the table top (to be perpendicular to the table edge, of course), rubbed his fragile, recedent chin and furrowed his manicured brow: “I don’t like it.  I don’t want to sell our product to the competition.  I wouldn’t want to buy a competitor’s product either.”

The peon/minion quickly replied with a grin: “But sir, we already buy a competitor’s product.  Remember that PO you signed for?  Requesting X seats of ‘Product X’ last month?  You recall it was for $10,000 per seat, plus maintenance and support?  I believe that PO amounted to over a million dollars, sir.  That product is owned and sold by ‘Company X’ who is one of our BIGGEST competitors.”

The MBA sat still with utter shock: “Impossible!”… “Is this true?!”

Conclusion

Just because you earn an MBA does not make you wise.  It does not make you knowledgeable either.  It doesn’t even make you aware of what your own company spends money on, even when YOU are the one signing the fucking checks.

And we are still somehow amazed when companies like Enron, AIG, ChoicePoint, and so on pull the pin on their corporate suicide vests and blow themselves to pieces on the evening news.  An MBA is a symbol of accomplishing a pile of work.  It is not a knighthood or religious symbol to be worshipped.

(In case you’re wondering, yes, this story is absolutely true.  And those same MBAssholes are still raking in great salaries making bad decisions)

Software Engineering Rediscovers “The User”

I've lost count of all the white papers, symposiums, books, journal articles, web articles, blog postings and tweets that espouse the virtues of software engineering in the scientific and technical sense. Every now and then (rarely) does one delve into the more artistic aspects.  But never have I seen a thorough inspection made of the customer or "end-user" aspects.  They are always discussed as either an after thought or as if they're some necessary piece of machinery in the SDLC assembly line.  This is sad.  Really sad.

I'm really shocked and disappointed at how the software architecture / engineering / development world has decided to close the door and put on their white lab coats.  Software is being developed in a close-minded bubble.  This was not always the case.  In fact, when I started writing software programming code in the early 1990's, the norm was meeting end-users "face-to-face" and hashing out needs/wants/concerns and ideas in person.  You know, the same way you argue with your mechanic when he says it's going to cost you $9000 to replace something you've never heard of.  Users are your lifeline.  They feed your products, your projects, indeed: your career.  I can't believe how this has morphed into such a sucky situation.  The best these multi-billion dollar software companies can do now is stand up a CMS portal or a bulletin board and some emails.  Would a phone call kill you?  Heck, even a personal e-mail?  Form-driven e-mail auto-responders are for dickheads.  They say to the user/customer "you are a number, give us what we want and go get lost".

I no longer write software as my primary means of earning a living.  I still do it as a side role at work and for a few long-time clients and friends, as well as for myself at home.  I remember clearly how the CMMI, SDLC, ISO, SOX, FISMA, HIPAA mindset grew from tiny seeds and into a forest of confusing trees with reams and reams of documentation aimed at MBA's to decipher.  There was once a term we used that seems to have died and turned to dust.  It was "common sense".  Here's how it used to work, and how it should still work (because it worked fine before):

1. Figure out what the user's problem is that you want to help solve
2. Work with the user to find the solution
3. Work with the user to improve the solution
(Repeat from step 1)

In all three of these is the word "user".  It's also an "iterative" process.  Did you know that "iteration" has usefulness outside of programming statements?  Amazing.  Did you know that you can improve a product or process simply by revisiting the above steps until there are no more problems to solve?  Amazing as well.

Some companies still get this.  But it's taken a crashing economy and job losses to make it happen.  To me, this is sort of like how you remember how to hunt and fish when a disaster strikes and destroys all the modern conveniences like grocery stores, restaurants and you run out of canned and frozen crap.  Oh yes, survival, that funny word.  Business survival is making companies do all sorts of crazy things.  Things like talking to customers whom they have ignored for the past ten years. Actually asking for input on their next product version.  Silly, radically insane things like this.  (giggles)  Ha ha.  Have you noticed? Those that aren't getting on the wagon are those who are heading for a cliff.

Whatever the reasons or rationale, it's both comforting and ironic to see this return to "caring for the customer" by software vendors.  For so long they've been shut in their labs and masturbating to copies of SDLC Weekly; Convinced that they already knew what problems their customers were facing and how best to solve them, all without ever asking the user directly.  So, for all you education text writers out there working on your shlock to sell to the universities and community colleges: Don't forget to devote at least a sentence or two to the importance of "users".  While IT folks like to joke about "users are losers", they are as important to your goals as the software itself.

A Different Kind of Exam Question

See if you can guess the solution for the following real incident:

Network consists of Windows Server 2008 Standard edition, and six Windows 7 clients. All are joined to a native 2008 Active Directory domain.  The router is a Linksys, which is also handling DHCP services. The server, router, and cable MODEM are plugged into a reliable UPS for the number of devices being used.  However, the UPS also has other devices plugged into the battery side, not the surge-protector-only side.

During a night of bad weather, the facility power drops out completely several dozen times in short succession.  Almost as if a light switch were being toggled on and off.  The UPS is carrying too many devices for the battery to power for more than a few seconds and soon devices on the UPS are powering off along with the facility.  To avoid potential hardware damage, the devices are shut off until the following day.

The next day, everything is powered back up and appears fine. Users are able to logon, but notice that the "Preparing your desktop" prompt takes almost 5 full minutes to finish.  Users then find that they are being prompted for credentials each time they attempt to browse shared folders on the server.

From all desktops, the server/domain controller can be pinged successfully and once credentials are entered they can browser and manage folders and files.

The System Event log on each client mentions that the desktop is no longer trusted by the domain.  The administrator performs a "reset" on a few computers in Active Directory, and then attempts to disjoin and rejoin the appropriate computers to the domain.  However, when they attempt to rejoin, they are prompted for credentials, but then presented with an error message indicating that the domain cannot be resolved by DNS and no DNS is available.  Tests on the domain controller itself indicate DNS, AD, Kerberos and all other services are operating properly.

The administrator decides to turn off the client firewall and attempt to join the computers again, but the same problem occurs again.  Then the administrator attempts to refresh the DHCP assignment using IPCONFIG /RELEASE and /RENEW.  The addresses are being assigned but only one of the two DNS server addresses are being applied on the clients. The DHCP server assigns one internal and one external (as a backup).  Only the external address was being applied.  Trying to log into the router resulted in failed logon attempts.  The router configuration had been corrupted sufficiently to break the administrative logon settings it seemed.

The solution is:

A) Rename the computers and attempt to join them as new accounts. Then
delete the former accounts from AD.

B) Specify a domain suffix for the IPv4 network connection properties,
and try to join the domain again.

C) Specify a static DNS address for the IPv4 network connection
properties, and try to join the domain again.

D) Reboot the router and try to join the domain again.

E) Reset and re-configure the router, refresh the IP assignments on the
clients, and try to join the domain again.

The Answer?  Post your best guess as a feedback.  I’ll post the real answer soon.

FAQ – Operating Systems

Here’s my dysfunctional professional response to the most commonly asked questions about operating systems.

• Q: Which operating is the best?
  • A: It depends
• Q: Which operating system would you recommend?
• A: It depends
• Q: Why won’t you answer the question?
• A: Because anyone that answers either of those questions with a knee-jerk answer is a complete dumbass, or they are lying or ignorant or are delusional from too much crack and cocaine use, or all four. :)
• Q: I’m a graphic artist, musician, or audio engineer.  Which OS should I go with?
• A: OSX
• Q: I run a corporate network with 1000 users.  Which OS should I go with?
• A: Windows 7
• Q: I do movie-quality animation with 3DS Max and Lightwave.  Which OS should I go with?
• A: Windows 7
• Q: I’m a web designer (not web app developer).  Which OS should I go with?
• A: It doesn’t matter: OSX or Windows 7
• Q: I’m a web applications developer.  Which OS should I go with?
• A: It depends.  If you’re working with ASP or ASP.NET or on a Windows web server environment, go with a Windows client OS.  If you’re working with PHP, Ruby or Flash, you can go with OSX.  If you’re only working with PHP or Ruby, you can go with Linux.  Otherwise, go with whatever floats your boat.
• Q: I bought a Netbook and want to load the best OS on it.
• A: Whatever floats your boat.
• Q: I’m a movie producer/TV producer/advertising producer.  Which OS should I go with?
• A: OSX
• Q: I run a data center with several Oracle instances and are kind of tight on the budget side (aside from Oracle licenses and hardware).  Which OS should I use?
• A: It depends
• Q: …on what?
• A: On whether you or your staff have any experience with Linux or Windows.  Whether you have time and budget for training.  Whether you have budget to hire more staff.
• Q: …so then what?
• A: Go with what fits your environment and staff capabilities, then worry about budget.  Because the first two will absolutely destroy your budget if the “solution” doesn’t fit.
• Q: I just bought a Macbook/Macbook Pro and want to load it up with Linux or BSD and dual boot with OSX.  Is that cool or what?
• A: No.  It’s not cool.  If you can make that setup do something like cure cancer, end world hunger or bring peace to the world, then it would be cool.  Otherwise it’s just another reason to not get laid.
• Q: My CIO/CTO just returned from a conference and now wants to change all of our desktops and servers to a different OS.  What should I do?
• A: Smack them as hard as you can on the side of their head with an open hand.  That should distract them long enough to make a clean getaway.
• Q: I have no budget at all.  Just a pile of hand-me-down computers with no OS installed.  What should I do?
• A: Either install Ubuntu 9.10 on them, buy some books and surf a bunch of web sites to bone-up on Ubuntu administration, or find another job working for someone with a budget.
• Q: My friend says “<insert-name-here>” is the best OS.  Is that true?
• A: Your friend is a complete fucking idiot.
• Q: My friend says Windows is a virus magnent.  Is that true?
• A: Where do I start…. hmmm… ok… is this the same friend that said <productname> is the best OS?  He’s still a fucking idiot.  Seriously though, viruses rarely come from “nowhere”.  They come from going to the wrong places, downloading the wrong things, plugging in the wrong devices (thumbdrives from other people) and generally doing stupid-ass things you shouldn’t do.  Getting a virus is like walking into the “wrong” part of town.  If you keep walking into the wrong part of town, you can claim (legally) that the town is unsafe and a mugging magnet.  Use your brain, or what’s left of it, and practice some common sense.  I’ve never had a virus on my home computers.  Never.  Not with Windows 3.11, 95, 98, NT4, 2000, XP, Vista or 7.  Never.  They have always been connected to the Internet and configured properly and I treat them with common sense.  You should too.
• Q: My friend says OSX has no viruses and cannot be hacked.
• A: Dump this friend already?  Nothing is “hack-proof”.  Nothing.  People make this stuff and people are flawed.  Period.
• Q: My friend says Linux is hack-proof and has no viruses.
• A: You need new friends.  Do we need to keep saying this?
• Q: My friend says I can run OSX and run AutoCAD and Inventor in VMware Fusion or Parallels.  Is that true?
• A: Good luck with that.  Let me know when you meet Elvis.
• Q: Can Windows be made hack-proof?
• A: I’m not talking to you anymore.  You are trying to upset my Feng Shui.
• Q: I bought a Linksys/D-Link/NetGear/etc. wireless router and plugged it in at work.  Is this ok?
• A: OMG.  Did you do any configuration changes to tighten it down? :(

Why I’m Done with Linux as a Desktop OS

Linux was cool for a long time.  I started with Slackware distros back in 1998, no X windowing, just CLI.  That was fine because, at that time, it handled mutli-tasking pretty well and it ran on old hardware with meager resources.

But times have changed.  Gnome and KDE have evolved to chase OSX and Windows with respect to piling on the GUI features, which is understandable.  But the aims of Linux have fallen off the wagon.  The argument used to be unified: It’s stable and requires few resources.  But then they got into the Kool Aid and began trying to copy OSX and Windows.  The “me too” stuff grew into repeated publication claims that it would “soon” replace Windows on the desktops of the world.  It never came close.  In fact, it has declined in that segment.

The only place Linux makes sense anymore is on server platforms and in small embedded devices (mobile devices, set-top boxes, appliances, industrial controls and monitoring for example).  The only segment that I would even consider it on for true “desktop” use is in non-profit environments that simply don’t have the budget for Windows or OSX.  Even then, I don’t see nearly as many non-profits hunting for hand-me-down hardware as I used to.  Most are getting new systems with Windows pre-loaded, or 2nd-hand hardware that also has Windows installed.

I don’t even fire up Linux distros in VMware anymore.  I used to feel an eagerness to stay up to date on Suse, Mandriva, Ubuntu, Fedora, and several others.  Not anymore.  My time has become more and more limited (and precious) and, risking the sound of a PR minion: Windows 7 does everything I need and I really like the UI and automation/CLI changes.  Did they move closer to a CLI manageability state with Linux?  Yes.  Did they move closer to a UI cleanliness state of OSX?  Yes.  Did they do that intentionally?  Who knows.  Who cares.  When the patient gets up from the the table and begins to run, you don’t ask how or why.

Is Windows 7 perfect?  No.  Technically speaking, it is superior to any previous versions of Windows ever produced.  But technically I’m happy with what it brings to the table.  What I’m not happy with is the licensing and cost aspects.  They missed the mark there, and that made Windows 7 fall short of being a truly “perfect” solution for my needs.  But I’ll stick with it regardless.

The Death of Common Sense Marketing

Some trends are starting to irritate this living crap out of me lately.  Here’s a few…

• “Site” is not the same as “Sight” – Please tell your marketing and web developer folks this shocking piece of information.  Saying “…keep them out of site” is just wrong and stupid.  It reflects poorly on your company to (a) use the correct spelling, and (b) fact-check what you publish to the world.  Sorry to pick on Quest Software, but I needed a quick example.
• Starting Sentences with “and so…” – This seems to be most prevalent with persons of the Northwest persuasion (i.e. Seattle area).
• Failing to Define Acronyms on first use – It seems that authors of journal articles (in particular) have taken it upon themselves to borrow from the medical journal style of writing.  I’m talking about using acronyms repeatedly, yet failing to establish the expanded meaning early on, let alone on the first use.  This is very bad practice and leaves a lot of potential readers in the cold.  Not everyone knows what “IP” means.  Intellectual Property?  Internet Protocol?  Internal Procedure?
• Don’t use Social Media marketing unless you’re Sociable – Every corporate marketing manager thinks it is pure genius to set up a Facebook page and a Twitter account. These two in particular are intended to be two-way communication platforms.  If you only use them to broadcast marketing propaganda without fielding comments and questions in return, you are being disengenuous and ignorant.  It shows how out of touch you really are.  A classic example of this is Hampton Roads Transit (HRT) who doesn’t even monitor their Twitter account.
• Don’t kill more trees just to say you’re being “green” – IBM is the king of this completely stupid mindset.  Trying to convince someone, whomever, that they’re being stewards of ecological resources, while doing so on enormous glossy color printed inserts, and even additional insert cards, throughout magazines.  This has become a laughing point for companies like IBM.
• Stop Treating Us Like We are Blind – Car ads on TV all make the same claim that their product is unique, different, and excitingly so, when it’s obvious that 99 percent of cars are almost exact duplicates of the competition.  Take the labels off of most modern cars and 9 in 10 people simply cannot identify them.  This is called “branding failure” and denotes a serious need to fire your designers and your marketing team.  (pssst: there are lots more waiting to take their places)

Electric Powered ‘33 Ford Hot Rod at SEMA

This thing is fucking insane…

The Nor-Easter of 2009

For those not familiar with living near the eastern seaboard, the term “Nor-Easter” refers to a storm that hails from the North-East with characteristics much like a tropical storm.  For all intents and purposes, it is a tropical storm, but I’ll leave that to the folks that thump their chests insisting they are not “weather-people” but “meteorologists”.  Whatever.

Our recent bout began as the remnants of hurrican Ida, which swept in from the Gulf of Mexico, came ashore and drifte Northeast over North Carolina and then over us in Virginia.  It took it’s time, with rains and wind starting on Wednesday and gradually picking up into a real mess by Thursday.  Last night was up and down and our power blinked out well over a dozen times.  I had to shut everything off to avoid hardware failures from all the constant spikes and drops.

By 4pm Thursday, all streets connecting our neighborhood were underwater.  Our particular section was high enough to be ok though.  We just couldn’t get out.  Even some of the braver 4x4 folks found themselves snuffed out in the deeper water (intersection of Old Forge and South Plaza Trail was most common)  This morning there were about ten stalled vehicles left abandoned.  Tow trucks were pulling them out with winches and cables onto flat-bed trucks to haul away.

The streets are less flooded now.  There are still a few bad locations that are impassable by car or by foot even.  The ground is saturated.  Trees fell over from root dislocation and strong winds.  Chain saws are blazing in all directions and there is still a misty rain coming down.  The intersection of Old Forge and South Plaza Trail was still 3-4 feet under water this morning.  I walked out as far as I could before sinking in the grassy shoulders.  The water goes up to the front doors of houses around that intersection.  It should be receding soon though.

One house around the corner was damaged severely by a fallen tree.  There is a crane and crew out now removing it in sections.  The house has already been condemned.  Thankfully, no one was hurt.  The crack of the tree falling was clear enough to hear inside my house with the TV on and the wind and rain howling on the outside, roughly 100 yards away.  Unbelievable sound.  Picture below of tree section being hoisted away.

According to all of the weather reports I’ve watched, the tidal flooding surpassed the record level set by the Ash Wednesday storm, but was not as high as the infamouse 1933 hurricane (they didn’t name them back in those days).  There are still a reported 150,000 without power in the Hampton Roads area (all cities combined), but most are on the southside.

Personally, I didn’t feel this was as bad as hurricane Isabelle.  But still, any damage is bad if you’re the one dealing with it.  This time around, we were very lucky.  Our house and vehicles suffered no damage.  We do have a lot of clean-up work ahead of us though.  The weekend is supposed to be nice and dry.

Why no 3-blade Swords?

Well?  They’ve made double and triple necked guitars.  They make 3, 4 and 5 blade razors (copying a joke from SNL of course).  They make dual exhaust systems for cars and motorcycles.  They made double and triple winged planes.  Even double and triple hulled ships.  But I’ve never seen a sword with 3, 4 or 5 blades in parallel.  What gives?  No, I’m not talking about crap like this.  I mean seriously: When you’re slicing up some dragon, don’t you want the closest possible shave?

PowerShell vs KiXtart

Blah blah blah.  I’ve done this one before, but this is different.  Why?  I don’t know.  I don’t care either.  The weather outside is horrible.  Yard is flooded.  Tree limbs down all over the place.  Streets are flooded and limbs, leaves and debris are floating and lodged all over the place.  Anyhow, I was looking at some PowerShell code I’ve been working on and it kicked me in the face how similar it often is to KiXtart script.  Even the import-module aspect being like the include statement.  So, someone hit me with a “but you can load cmdlets and do so much cool stuff” remark.  So?  I can do that with a UDF or included KiXtart script as well.  Same thing.  Both can be obfuscated/encoded for compactness and (quasi) protection.  PowerShell offers signing, which (I don’t believe) KiXtart does, but that’s minor.  I’ve yet to find a large number of script writers signing their work anyway.  Maybe cmdlets are the exception?

Here’s the rub (in my humblest opinion): PowerShell exposes the wonderful world of .NET to your scripting arsenal.  So, why then do such a VAST majority of PowerShell script examples make NO reference to .NET functionality at all??!  Most are simply recoding of other languages to invoke LDAP, WMI/WBEM, ADSI, SQL, etc.  That was my complaint early on in Monad: when will the shift occur to make it obvious what PowerShell can do that the others CANNOT?  Not simply what it can do differently.  Nobody needs different, besides boneheaded brainwashed Apple fans. 

Most script writers (regardless of Mac/PC/Linux/whatever) want efficient more than different. They (we) need something clearly and obviously better.  I don’t want to hit a web site that shows me the same WMI query shit in a new language.  That’s no benefit to me whatsoever.  How about a nice, fat, juicy collection of scripts that (a) make use of the .NET framework on the front end, and (b) aren’t so ridiculously verbose that you shake your head in disbelief that somewhere in the pile of cryptic goo there is a real hidden benefit?  If that exists, please, someone, point me to it?

If the final round bell rang right now, I’d score the fight dead even.  Crowds don’t like a draw.  They want to see a clear winner.

Meeting with Autodesk

So, after my initial “rant”, I got a very quick response from Autodesk.  I already blogged and blabbered about that.  Then I followed up with another post a week ago.  Well, today was our first “meeting” by phone and I must say: I’m feeling very positive.

Our first meeting skimmed our list of basically 10-12 issues and dove into just a few of them in more detail.  Tomorrow we are scheduled to do a part 2 and dive a bit deeper.  The folks on the line were fully invested in the conversation, not just pretending.  I know.  I’ve been on both sides of these conversations for years.  I can smell fakeness in seconds.  They are geniunely interested in finding solutions and I’m saying that without having drank a single drop of kool-aid.

The key items on our list we are working on as of today is basically as follows:

1. User Rights: Making all products work without requiring users to have elevated rights, even during the “first launch” of the product following installation.  This applies most to Inventor 2010 (dating back to version 11 though), which prompts the user to register (or “re-register”) on first launch.
2. Installation/Deployment: Address the admin-image installation approach for easier bundling of multiple products.  Either of two solutions will suffice, but preferrably the first solution can be achieved.  The second would be a “plan B”:
   1. Preferred: Update the “setup.exe” to remain memory-resident until all sub-processes complete their work.
   2. Alternate: Provide detailed documentation on how to replicate the install process using the admin-image components (msi/mst, etc.) and the proper order of installation.
3. Shortcuts: Address the issue of desktop and start menu shortcuts reverting to defaults upon “first launch” of the product.  This mostly applies to AutoCAD Mechanical 2010 (since MDT is going away), but even AutoCAD 2010 does this.
4. Internet: Address the issue of products attempting to initate “backdoor” Internet connections during application launch.  User-initiated is fine, but hidden processes are a major badness.
5. Uninstall: Address the uninstall process to suit item 2 above, as well as doing a more thorough job of removing in-use components.
6. Raster Design: Address Raster Design’s integration with other products with respect to menus and profiles.
7. Updates: Address the methodology and standard for delivering updates.  We also suggested creating a client-side manifest as a centralized inventory of all Autodesk updates for improved management capability.

Tomorrow’s meeting should be a good one, based on how today’s meeting went.  I will keep you posted.

Verizon puts the iPhone on the Island of Misfit Toys

This was too good to ignore.  Enjoy!

Hoegaarden Serving Tip

I love a lot of different beers.  Mostly Ales, but I enjoy a tasty Stout, Pilsner, or Lager as well as a few others.  But one beer I *never* tire of is Hoegaarden.  Never.  I can drink it in the hazy, hot, and humid days of Summer, as well as the crisp, dry, cold nights of Winter.  It’s a unique Ale of the Heffeweizen variety, but unfiltered, so it’s cloudy.  But the difference is not only the cloudy pale amber color, it’s the blend of spices and natural stabilization.

The bottle label has a simple 3-step picture-guide on how to serve it best:  Pour 2/3 bottle into a cold glass.  Shake the remainder in the bottle.  Pour the remainder in to make the head form.

Hoegaarden rates an average 3.91 (B+) on BeerAdvocate.com

Hoegaarden began in 1445 (based on their label and web site history) but actually, as a brand, went dormant for many years.  In 1987, the brewery management was taken over by Interbrew (now called Anheuser-Busch InBev).  Thankfully, ABI hasn’t tried to re-define the product into some watered-down tasteless crap that they sell to most Americans.

Here’s my tip.  Using an iced full-size beer glass: Pour 1/2 the bottle in vigorously.  Stir the remainder vigorously, and pour it in fast.  This forms a better head and also stirs the spices more evenly (they settle at the bottom usually).  Also, from time to time, I will swirl the glass to blend the spices again.  You can see them swimming in the brew from the side of the glass.  Mmmmm.  I’m on my second glass right now.  Cheers!

Apple TV 3.0.1 Critical Update Released

Per e-mail received this afternoon…

Dear Customer,

If you've installed the Apple TV 3.0 software update, you should immediately update to version 3.0.1. This prevents content from temporarily disappearing until it is resynced.

To update your Apple TV software:

1. Reboot your Apple TV (unplug the power cord and plug it back in)
2. Select Settings > General from the main menu
3. Select Update Software
4. Select Download and Install

Note: Your Apple TV will conduct a restart, which is followed by the Apple logo and a status bar.

For more information, please refer to this article:
http://support.apple.com/kb/TS3116

If you need further assistance with your Apple TV, contact AppleCare.

Sincerely,
Apple TV Team

What Was “New” for Me This Past Week

• Paint.NET 3.5 was finally released (download) – I really love it!
• Testing SkyDriveExplorer.  Some (very) minor quirks, but nice (http://www.skydriveexplorer.com/)
• Updated my AppleTV to 3.0.  Finally!
• Updated my Blackberry 8830 to firmware 4.5.  Finally!
• Adjusted my Twitter-Admin setup (control my home computers via Twitter from the Blackberry, and monitor events as well)
• Posted updates to ASP and VBScript syntax definitions for TextPad (download)
• Installed Tigo-Tago to manage IDv3 tags on my AVI library (download)
• Got the family (only) van repaired.  Power steering pump and hoses, and water pump both failed.  Runs great now.
• Caught up on podcasts: Adam Carolla Show, No Agenda, CarCast, and Tech5
• Rode the bike for only 5 miles though.  Sucky.

Follow-Up on my Autodesk Rant

Soon after posting my rant about Autodesk products and their relationship with (at least certain) “Enterprise” customers, I received a TON of feedback.  Probably the most since I resuscitated my blog some time ago.  All of the feedback was appreciated (except for the rude comments by a few dickheads and spammers) and were overwhelmingly supportive and in agreement. 

But the most important response, for me, came from Eric Stover at Autodesk.  Not that it contained anything tangibly immediate, but that it even happened.  We had voiced our frustrations with our sales/customer rep for months and were basically placated with pats on the back, a tissue, maybe a lullaby to get us back to sleep.  But this was like someone opening a dungeon door and letting in sunlight for the first time in, well, forever.

As of today, we are scheduled for a phone conference with Eric and his staff with myself and my co-workers next week.  It would have been today, but I had vehicle “issues” and missed work running errands to get it fixed.

I wanted to keep this topic “alive”, so as not to give the impression all is resolved and we can already move on.  That hasn’t happened yet.  But I am (we are) hopeful that our upcoming meeting will be positive and productive.  I think Autodesk understands the value and importance, now more than ever, of keeping their customers happy and interested in their products and services.  The economy is putting a fire under all of the players in this industry, and they’re all stepping up to eat each other’s lunch.  So, if you have a relationship with a particular software vendor and you feel they aren’t stepping up to the plate for your needs, AND if you’re paying for support or maintenance, now is the time to bend some arms.  As you can see, it does get a response if you remain honest and focused.  Don’t let emotion overshadow the crux of what you’re concerns are.  Let the concerns speak for themselves.

Proof That We Are Doomed

Since Monday of this week, and it’s Thursday today, I have seen:

• 2 “mothers” place their baby carrier (with a real baby) on the street, on the driver’s side, in the path of passing traffic, while reaching back to get more things from their vehicles.
• 5 people open their driver’s side door as cars pass by, forcing them to swirve to avoid hitting the door (I want to take one off myself)
• 2 dozen red Ford Mustangs
• 2 dozen red Dodge Chargers
• 2 dozen red Dodge Challengers
• 4 people ordering from Starbucks asking for a “mack-ee-ah-tee” (think of a Boston accent, but they’re not from anywhere near Boston)
• Same 4 asked for a “small”.  When the lady said “you mean ‘tall’” they disagreed.
• Philly’s fans cheering on TV when A-Rod was hit for the third time (game 5)
• The week’s not over yet…

Awesome Trampoline Acrobatics

WARNING: The music embedded in this video contains some language that may be offensive to some folks.  If you don’t like Rap lingo, turn the sound down.  The video is worth the effort.

Just When You Felt Sorry for Your Life

Watched it yet?  No?  Watch it.  Then STFU.