Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Year – Nothing Much New

Deals?  We Gotz Yo Deals

So, today I drove around to about six car lots looking for a used car for my oldest daughter.  I can officially state with complete honesty that any and all claims of dealers being more willing to “deal” with better “deals” is complete and utter bullshit.  The prices are no different than a year ago.  The terms are no different than a year ago. The interest rates are higher.  The down-payment terms are higher.  So the current situation is actually worse for buyers.  We hit up the larger Chrysler, Ford, GM, Toyota, Suburu, and Honda dealers of course, but the car brands themselves pretty much covered everything.  It’s a farce.  I seriously hope our government boneheads do NOT consider bailing out those clowns ever.  They dug their own dishonest, fuck-the-customer dilemna, let them dig their own way out.

Dog Suits or Fish Suits

My next door neighbor bought knitted coats for her six (yes, count ‘em: 6) dogs.  Is that the absolute dumbest fucking thing on this planet?!  Coats for dogs?!  I suppose we should expect swimsuits for fish soon?  I’m sure those would be a huge hit.

Stupid-Ass Signs

I love the road sign at the overpass where I-264 crosses over Independence Blvd in Virginia Beach.  If you’re heading North on Independence, you will see a handy little yellow sign mounted on the concrete column supporting the overpass that shows two divergent arrows, indicating that traffic should “split” around the concrete structure.  Nice.  And if you’re so stupid/blind/ignorant/drunk that you have to look at that sign to avoid hitting it, well guess what?  You’re already face-planted into the concrete.

Stupid-Ass Labels

Toothpaste tube says “for best results, squeeze from bottom and flatten as you go up”

WD-40 can says “point nozzle away from face”

Every tube of chap stick I own says “for external use only”

Hand sanitizer: “for external use only”

That sucks.  I was really hoping I could spray myself in the eyes with the WD-40, while brushing my teeth with toothpaste I squeezed from the top of the tube, and inserted the chap stick and hand sanitizer into my ass.  Now what the hell am I supposed to do?!

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