Migration Gyration Consternation with USMT

If I hear one more person whine about backing up their junk so they can reload Windows or upgrade Windows, or jump out of their Windows, or whatever, I think I'll just smile.  I can't believe that it's 2009 and (Windows-using) people still don't know about USMT.  It's been around since, well, a long time.  And that's a long time. I should know.

So......, eh... uh.... what exactly is a "USMT" anyhow?

Good question.  And I'm glad you didn't ask, so here's the answer:  It's a FREE utility from Microsoft that helps you automate (my favorite word) the chore of backing up EVERYTHING you even thought of screwing up on your computer, so that you can restore it all on either another computer, or the same computer after you un-screw it up by reloading the Windows operating system.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Can I back up my Windows files using USMT and restore them on my Apple computer?

No, and you are a complete f-ing idiot to even ask such a boneheaded dumbass question.

2. Where can I get USMT?

Just browse on over to http://www.microsoft.com/downloads/details.aspx?FamilyID=799ab28c-691b-4b36-b7ad-6c604be4c595&displaylang=en

3. What kinds of things does USMT backup?

Everything that makes YOU - YOU, on your Windows computer, that is.  So, everything under your "My Documents" folder, including all your crappy porn and outdated stupid joke files, horrible pictures and dumb video clips.  Also, your Favorites, and every shortcut on your Desktop as well as any files you EVER touched and probably screwed up because you touched it. 

4. Can I control what it backs up?

Yes, you can.  So, you can relax, knowing that you can exclude your porn files and plans for world domination.

5. Is USMT hard to use?

If you have trouble operating a toothbrush, then yes, you may find it difficult to use.  For the rest of us however, it's pretty simple.  You install it.  Launch it.  Select the options you want, and let it rip.  The dialog interface is rather self-explanatory.

6. Where can it back up to?

A shared folder on another computer.  A CD or DVD disk.  A USB thumbdrive.  Your lunch box.  Your shirt pocket.  Your empty skull.  Your aquarium.  Pretty much anywhere.

7. What if I back up my XP box and want to load Vista and restore my files?

That's what it was designed for.

8. What if I want to backup my Vista box and load Windows 7 and restore my files?

I'd call you a friggin genius!

9. What if I want to backup my Windows 7 box and reload XP or Vista?

Oh my God, you may have a cranial cavity too large to be filled in a thousand years.