Sunday, February 20, 2011

My Eyes are Permanently Damaged

Have you ever been privvy to a horrific accident?  I'm talking about the kind where you see something happen to another human that shouldn't' happen to a human being.  Limbs lost.  Gaping wounds.  Internal organs becoming externalized, and that sort of thing.  Go ahead and gasp in horror, but when I see such things I usually follow them up with "anyone up for a plate of spaghetti?"… "…with extra meat sauce? … anyone?"  I'm probably a candidate for desensitization studies.

Well, I invited a challenge that I couldn't refuse, but it may have cost me my eye site.

Photos of the results of a suicide bomb attack on an open market?  Nope.  Video of cats being inserted into wood chippers?  Nope.  Video of Dave England puking into a frying pan, scrambling the puke on high heat and eating it again?  Not even close.

WARNING: This link may cause permanent brain damage and loss of eye sight…

It was this:

Yes.  I'm afraid there are people getting paid to damage the eyes and minds of Internet users with some of the most God-aweful trash to ever grace a web browser.  I don't even know where to begin.  The color scheme?  The over-sized imagery for the visually impaired?  The Stevie Wonder layout?

The hamburger phone is a nice touch though.


Here's some runner-ups to enjoy (wear your welding goggles to prevent eye damage):

Doumar's (as close to a Braille site as you'll get without being blind)

Animal Care Clinic of Holland Road (FrontPage never dies)

MBH (anyone up for gumbo?)

ECPI (hello? 1990's calling… wants their web site back)

Norfolk Wire & Electronics (stare into the shotgun and hold still for a moment)

Oceana Sensor (hoooo boy! Them panels are a bitchin!)

ComSec LLC (when Xbox and toilets are merged to make a web site)

Boulevard Screen & Sign (in two words: dark salmon)

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