Microsoft Updates: A Microcosmic View of a History of Bad Judgement?

In the narrow context of being my past days as a small business network admin, I did a fair amount of work with SUS, WUS and WSUS through the years.  I even published some video tutorials over at www.BlogCastRepository.com which may or may not still be in operation.  I used to post a fair amount of topical content and forum feedback over at http://www.wsus.info/ as well.  And I maintain my family home computers with WSUS as a regular habit, because I like it that much.  It’s easy to setup and use and works great.  But when I occassionally review the latest catalog of Products, I’m reminded of some of Microsoft’s bad judgement (as if I never made any bad decisions, right).

Just take a look at the current WSUS products listing as of October 2009.  Amazing.  Look at it for a few minutes before you continue on to my rant beneath it.  Otherwise, my rant will not make much sense.

All Products
	Microsoft
		BizTalk Server
			BizTalk Server 2002
			Host Integration Server 2000
			Host Integration Server 2004
			Host Integration Server 2006
		Developer Tools, Runtimes, and Redistributables
			Report Viewer 2005
			Report Viewer 2008
			Visual Studio 2005
			Visual Studio 2008
		Exchange
			Exchange 2000 Server
			Exchange Server 2003
			Exchange Server 2007 and Above Anti-spam
			Exchange Server 2007
			Exchange Server 2010
		Expression
			Expression Media 2
			Expression Media V1
		Forefront
			Forefront Client Security
			Forefront code named Stirling Beta version
			Forefront Threat Management Gateway, Definition Updates for HTTP Malware Inspection
			Forefront TMG MBE
			Threat Management Gateway Definition Update for Network Inspection System
		HPC Pack
			Compute Cluster Pack
			HPC Pack 2008
		Internet Security and Acceleration Server
			Firewall Client for ISA Server
			Internet Security and Acceleration Server 2004
			Internet Security and Acceleration Server 2006
		Live Search
			Search Enhancement Pack
		Microsoft Research AutoCollage
			Microsoft Research AutoCollage 2008
		Microsoft System Center Data Protection Manager
			Data Protection Manager 2006
		Network Monitor
			Network Monitor 3
		Office Communications Server And Office Communicator
			Office Communications Server 2007 R2
			Office Communications Server 2007
			Office Communicator 2007 R2
		Office
			Office 2002/XP
			Office 2003
			Office 2007
		SDK Components
			CAPICOM
		Silverlight
			Serverlight
		SQL Server
			SQL Server 2000
			SQL Server 2005
			SQL Server 2008
			SQL Server Feature Pack
		System Center Online
			Category for System Center Online Client
		System Center Virtual Machine Manager
			System Center Virtual Machine Manager 2007
			System Center Virtual Machine Manager 2008
		Systems Management Server
			System Center Configuration Management 2007
			Systems Management Server 2003
		Virtual Server
			Virtual PC
			Virtual Server
		Windows Essential Business Server
			Windows Essential Business Server 2008 Setup Updates
			Windows Essential Business Server 2008
			Windows Essential Business Server Preinstallation Tools
		Windows Live
			OneCare Family Safety Installation
			Photo Gallery Installation and Upgrades
			Sign-in Assistant Installation and Upgrades
			Windows Live Toolbar
			Windows Live
			Writer Installation and Upgrades
		Windows Small Business Server
			Windows Small Business Server 2003
			Windows Small Business Server 2008
		Windows
			Windows 2000
			Windows 7
			Windows Defender
			Windows Internet Explorer 7 Dynamic Installer
			Windows Internet Explorer 8 Dynamic Installer
			Windows Media Dynamic Installer
			Windows Server 2003, Datacenter Edition
			Windows Server 2003
			Windows Server 2008 R2
			Windows Server 2008 Server Manager Dynamic Installer
			Windows Server 2008
			Windows Server Manager - Windows Server Update Services (WSUS) Dynamic Installer
			Windows Ultimate Extras
			Windows Vista Dymamic Installer
			Windows Vista Ultimate Language Packs
			Windows Vista
			Windows XP 64-Bit Edition Version 2003
			Windows XP x64 Edition
			Windows XP
		Works
			Microsoft Works 8
			Microsoft Works 9
			Works 6-9 Converter

Ok, first off: Do the product names really have to be THIS fucking long?!  Really?  It’s getting beyond stupid into the realm of seriously embarrassing.  The fact that their competition isn’t beating the shit out of them just on this point is another embarrassment on their part.  Apple?  Come on, this is WAY too easy.  I’m talking easy as a white kid from Encino walking into a Crips hang-out with cash hanging out of every pocket and staggering drunk.  Can you see where this would go?

Google, Apple, IBM, EMC, Symantec, RedHat, they should all be lining up with their brass knuckles ready for a beating.  Jobs himself would be collecting the entry fees at the door of course (he’s not a beater anyway, Schiller would handle that for him).

Second, just looking at the categorization for a bit, you should see some real head-scratchers.  Just under the “Windows” category there are some really bizarre placements.  Why is all the IE stuff there?  What the hell is “XP 64-Bit Edition Version 2003” anyway?  I can’t find that on any of their product pages.  Why is Defender here? And, why aren’t Silverlight and CAPICOM up under the Developer Tools and Runtimes category?

Third, what’s up with the splitting up of the System Center catalog?!  I thought the marketing focus was on their coherence and complimentary aspect.   Looking at this you’d think they were all made by other companies and hate each other.  Maybe they won’t sit next to each other on the bus, like quibbling siblings or something.  And what happened to Windows Server 2003 R2?  Is it gone?  No longer supported?  And why isn’t Live Search under the Windows Live category as well?

Very bizarre stuff.  But the one thing that always jumps out at me with the most irony and melancholic despair is “Windows Ultimate Extras”.  It’s like the last sad clown to stroll off the circus floor back through the curtains when the spotlights are shut off.

Someone really needs to crack the whip and clean house on this mess.  It’s really that bad.  So bad, that I’m embarrassed for them and I don’t even work for them in any respect whatsoever.

The entire list needs to be cleaned up, re-organized, re-sorted, and it would not only work better for WSUS admins (and System Center ConfigMgr admins) but would put a little more lipstick on this squealing pig of marketing history.  I’m not saying WSUS is the pig.  I’m referring to the company’s history of naming products.  I could go on, but it’s making my head hurt.