Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Things You Shouldn't Do

Because it seems these basic rules are no longer being taught, and are being forgotten by those old enough to know better...

- Don't throw trash into a urinal

- Don't throw trash from your car/truck

- Don't slam restroom stall doors. Flush after you go to the bathroom. Wash your hands after going to the bathroom

- Wash your hands before you eat. You eat enough shit at work, why eat more.

- Say "please" and "thank you"

- Say "hello" or "good morning", etc to everyone you pass by. One of them might save your life someday, or be your tax auditor.

- Buckle the seatbelt for your kids when they're in the car. If you don't, you're saying "I don't love you and I hope you die"

- Don't drive with your stupid dog in your stupid lap. Put him/her in the other seat at least.

- It's not ok to curse/swear in front of children. Unless you're being killed or injured badly.

- Hold the door for ladies, elderly, disabled and people carrying lots of stuff. Its not always about "you"

- Use your turn signal when changing lanes. Actually, use it BEFORE you change lanes.

- Keep your lawn cut and trimmed or buy a goat. Get off your ass.

- Don't water the pavement. Its just stupid. It announces to the world that you are a complete dumbass.

- Don't mock people who handle the shitty jobs in life. Without trashmen, you'd be up to your eyeballs in smelly garbage.

- You are no more or less important than anyone else. You are not special. You don't deserve anything. You have to earn it all.

- What goes around doesn't always come around

- Parking across multiple spaces with a standard-size vehicle makes you a complete asswipe.

- If you can't drive it, don't buy it

- Talk quietly on the phone. We don't want to hear about your crazy vacation stories or the resulting rectal bleeding.

- If you don't have something "useful" to say, STFU.

- Before you ask, did you search for an answer yourself? Or do you think I'm your clerk. Don't expect my answer to be accurate.

- Don't "reply all" unless you REALLY mean to.

- Don't spit unless you're playing baseball at the same time. Spitting phlegm isn't sexy. Its the sport of ass-lickers.

- NASCAR is not a sport. Stop trying to convince me otherwise. Neither is horse racing.

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