Monday, August 17, 2009

Busting Another Myth: Dog Poo is Destroying our World

Myth: Dog Feces is Bad for the Environment

I would have thought this was obviously dumb, but I suppose I need to digress into this and flesh out the rationale behind why this is just flat-out stupid.

Assuming that before mankind arrived in high numbers to this wonderful land of “ours” (translation: the piece of land we stole from the Indians), there were likely a much higher population of wildlife than there are today.  A MUCH higher population.  That would also imply more wildlife fecal matter.  Before the East Coast was settled, there were large numbers of deer, bear, foxes and wolves and all sorts of furry mammal critters living all over the place.  Did their poop destroy the forests?  Did it destroy the fish with the runoff?  Now we have VASTLY fewer animals per square mile in 2009 than were here in 1809, with the remainder filled (or over-filled) with humans (the other dumb mammal that does stupid shit).  Given that humans, for the most part, do their dirty business into a toilet, and that the byproduct is routed by sewer lines to a treatment plant, that means there is much less fecal matter laying around per square mile than one hundred years ago.  Much less.  If every dog alive did a doody on their owner’s front lawn, it wouldn’t come close to 1/100th of the total volume of doody from back then.  Yet, somehow, it DESTROYS the environment.  If you still believe that, you suck at math.

Part 2 – If you live near a park with a lake or a pond, you may have come to see a Goose or two.  If so, you may also notice just how much poo a Goose tends to drop as they walk around acting as stupid as a typical human car driver.  Just in the park across the street from our house, on an average day, there will be about two dozen Canadian or white geese grazing and pooping like little doody machines.  The size and mass of their droppings is about the same as that of a small dog.  However, they doody at about 1000 times the rate of a small dog.  If you have a small dog and it poops every minute, it has serious problems.  However, this is normal for a Goose.  Does Goose fecal matter destroy the environment?  Are there actually people that walk behind them and scoop their poop?  I sure hope not.

Sure, Geese eat grass and vegetation, while dogs eat meat and vegetation.  Foxes, beer and other animals eat meat too.

Granted, nobody wants dog poo everywhere.  It sucks to step in it, and it smells bad.  I’m not saying you shouldn’t “curb your dog”, but let’s be honest about the logic behind it.  Pick up because it’s the decent thing to do.  Not because of some bullshit “green” storyline.  If this dumbass P.C. mindset continues on, I would expect to see a law passed that requires dog owners to attach a poop sensor on their dogs.  It would count the poops and transmit the location of the drop and date/time.  Automatically sending a bill to the owner for carbon footprint damage to the environment.  Think I’m kidding?  Think again.

Apparently, the approach of asking people to pick up just to be nice wasn’t working.  So they have to pin another reason on it: The environment.  That’s right.  Animals pooping destory the world.  So don’t forget to pick up after your racoon, squirrel, rabbit, fox, deer, bear, and so on.  After all: wildlife has now become Nature’s enemy.

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