Sunday, January 30, 2011

Some Quotes from my Past

"I'll cook a plate of dog shit, medium-rare, if someone pays me enough" - John, the head cook at a restaurant I once worked at, after a customer demanded a 2-inch Filet Mignon "cooked 6 seconds on each side".  He tipped John $100.

"Alright.  You ladies grab your tampons and dance up to the roof and start working."  - Mike, construction boss (the roof was five stories high and sloped 30 degrees, it was 4:30 AM and had been raining all night)

"When you get out there, all the directions are based on cows and rusted cars in the yard." - Tim, my boss when I delivered paint.  In this case out in the boonies beyond Arc, Va.

"Don't bother me.  I'm massaging my temples with a .45" - Paul, a former boss in the IT world.  One of his favorite phrases.

"You can't treat users like that.  They're way too stupid." - Betty, an IT manager

"Contracts are made to be changed.  So change it!" - Linda, uber-vicious IT procurement manager for a large corporation, talking to a senior Autodesk or Microsoft rep.  By the way, they changed it.  They always do.

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