Tuesday, November 16, 2010

It's a Small Small Government World

I've been curious about this whole "smaller government" political rallying that I had to ask just what it means.  It seems to come from Tea Partiers and Republicans mostly.  The Democrats seem to want to spend spend spend, even though the check book is empty. 

The problem I'm seeing is that I can't find two people that agree on what that means.  Some say it means cut back entitlement programs.  But when I ask what those are, all I seem to hear is "you know… entitlement programs".  So, when I toss out some ideas of potential entitlements to chop, I get some that say yes, and some say no.  So to make them all happy (after all, we can make everyone happy at once, right?) I thought I'd compile all of the things to reduce or just eliminate that would (or should) make all of them happy:

  • Food Safety programs: FDA, CDC, NIH - just eliminate them entirely
  • Social Security: Eliminate it entirely. Old folks should go back to work like the rest of us.
  • Public Safety: OSHA, FAA, FBI, FDA, NSF, DOJ, NHTSA, State Dept - eliminate all of them
  • Research and Exploration: NOAA, NGS, NASA, CDC, NIH, DARPA - nothing else to explore
  • Parks and Recreation: NWS, NPS, NWF - just put everything up for sale and build more factories
  • Education: "No mo spendin on dem spoiled rich college kids!"
  • Defense: (DoD) / Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines; Coast Guard, CIA, NSA, DIA, FBI
  • Energy: NRC, DOE, NSF
  • Transportation: NHTSA, NTSB, FAA, DOC
  • Regulation: FCC, FAA, DOJ, DOE, NSF, NIH, DOC, SEC

You might ask: "Well, why even have government?"  That's a great question.  I propose we follow the Amish and just tend to the land and goats.  It worked fine for centuries.  We can do just fine again.  Government is just too big and needs to be reduced to nothing.  Think of the money that will save, and no more campaign advertisements.  Awesome!

Want to know if your food is safe?  Have your kids taste it first.

Want to know how far it is to Mars?  Far.  That's how far.

Want to know how to avoid getting some new disease?  Each your vitamins and drink Red Bull (or Mountain Dew if you live Appalachia)

Want to know how to avoid terrorists?  Stay out of desert shitholes.

Want to reduce oil usage?  Stop using all plastic stuff and start walking or riding a horse.

Want to improve travel? Stay home.  Ride a horse to work

Go ahead and laugh, but (seriously now) I've had various people say they'd like to cut or eliminate every single one of these items above.  Given that you have to strive to "serve the public" in order to "serve the public", well, you have to draw an aggregate focus to base your goals on.  So cut it all and we should be just fine.  Right?  Stupid as hell.

Post a Comment