Saturday, July 24, 2010

A Few Words About Joggers

WARNING: There may be some strong language used in this article.

I used to like to run (ok, jog), but my knees and hip joints don't like it anymore, so I bicycle.  I usually make two or three rides per week, depending on circumstances, weather, etc.  One of my favorite rides is the Cape Henry Trail.  A roughly six-mile trek which consists of a mile of asphalt pathway going through a nice neighborhood, followed by a mile of asphalt through woods near a campground, followed by dirt through heavy tree cover.  I usually get on the trail at Great Neck Rd and arrive at the end by 64th Street and Atlantic Ave a short time later (i haul ass usually in top gear the whole way).


Today however was different.  The trail was loaded with joggers.  Groups.  Singles.  Pairs.  Whatever.  As I approach them from behind, I always call out "passing left!" and say "thank you!" when they move over as I pass.  Some behavioral patterns I noticed today:

  • Women share the path and are usually very courteous
  • Older men are usually courteous and share the path also
  • Younger guys jogging alone move over (no courtesy)
  • Younger guys in groups are dickheads and don't move, so I help them move over (I'm six feet tall and 200 lbs.  Most joggers are barely 140 lbs and 5ft 7in or so.  Do the math, and do it fast cuz I'm approach very fast)

Here's a few observations with comments as well:

  • Most joggers are white.  Almost all of them.
  • Most of them spend a significant amount of money on special jogger clothing, and jogger shoes.
  • Most of them look other joggers up and down to assess their jogger clothing and shoes.
  • Most of them jog to be seen, not to really boost their health.
  • Most of them spend too much time worrying about their diet

I hate to bust your bubble but…

  • Not too many white folks win the Boston marathon, the NYC marathon, the SF marathon, the Chicago marathon, the, well, ANY marathon
  • It's usually some guys from Kenya, Ethiopia, Zimbabwe, or Morocco
  • Those guys don't spend shit on jogger clothing
  • Those guys don't spend shit on jogger shoes.  In fact, some of them run ALL DAY EVERY FUCKING DAY BAREFOOT
  • They don't pause to look other joggers up and down to judge their clothing.  They only look to see if you're in their way, which you are only possibly in their way at the very start of the race.  After that you're a distant memory.
  • Most of them only care about one dietary aspect: IS THERE ANY FOOD.

The jogger clothing doesn't do shit.  The jogger shoes don't do shit.  The energy bar and vitamin pills don't do shit.  The special drinks don't do shit.  It's YOU that has to take the blame for doing shit.

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