Friday, June 4, 2010

This Week in the News (Slightly Moderated Version)

Cadmium-Tainted "Shrek" glasses at McDonalds (Collect them All!)
: those darn Chinese. Melamine is so passé. Cadmium is the new Lead.

"Furious" Obama, joins "Sullen" Obama and "Giddy" Obama (collect them all!
: yeah, he's going to single-handedly fix it all

Activists Vow to Continue Dying, Because They Have Nothing Better to Do
comment: if you walk into a fight, you might get hit

MLB Imperfectly Perfects it's Imperfections on Perfection?
: can you say "instant replay"?

The Lorena Bobbitt method might just work after all?
: snip snip

If at First You Don't Succeed, Rip em Off Again!
: forgive and forget, but don't forget to tithe on your way out

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