Thursday, June 24, 2010

If Offices Were Run Like Construction Sites

After years of working in construction, then college, followed by office-oriented jobs, I've come to realize some interesting comparisons.

  • Leaving an empty water jug in the dispenser would be punishable by wedgy
  • Leaving 0.5 cups of coffee in the pot and walking away would be punishable by urinating in your cup
  • Standing outside taking a smoke break would be punishable by a face smack
  • Taking three smoke breaks?  Three face smacks
  • Walking off when your lunch is finished in the microwave:  Free lunch for anyone standing nearby
  • Whining about the lighting: circle up the coworkers to perform synchronized laughing
  • Complaining about being tired: Send employee outside to dig a 100ft long trench, 3 feet deep (no changing clothes either)
  • Complaining about parking so far away: Move parking space back 10 spaces for every complaint spoken
  • Taking the elevator when you really don't have an excuse: 20 push-ups in the parking lot
  • Scheduling more than one meeting per week:  20 push-ups in the parking lot
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