Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Because I Said So, That’s Why!

Nothing says “I love you” as much as spoonfeeding shit in mass quantities to those around you.  I’ve done this rant many times before, to people that know me this is a regurgitation, but with a twist of lime this time around.

“Dolphin Safe”

tuna_can Most kids under 30 don’t really know what this term infers.  To those of us over 30 (or 40) it’s an obvious reference to the Tuna industry and their fight to win public acceptance of their eco-friendly methods of mass-collecting and killing natures tastiest creatures (no, not the pizza-fish, the Tuna).

Documentaries went crazy with stories of enormous, wide-cast nets, dragged for miles over the open sea, catching Tuna, but also catching Dolphin, Tortoises, and almost anything else swimming in the wrong place at the wrong time.  The public supposedly became “insensed” at this disregard for nature, although I’ve never seen Americans get upset at anything since the great corporate brainwashing project ended the 60’s free love movement.  The only thing we get upset about now is cancelling our favorite TV shows.

So the canners got together in the bar next to the golf course and concocted this idea of stamping all the cans as “Dolphin Safe” and saying they were using “newer technology” to spare the dolphins and tortoises and only catch those tasty, benign, nutritional Tuna.  Sure.  Magic nets somehow can tell a Tuna from a Dolphin, regardless of those two overlapping significantly in the realm of physical dimensions.  Ever been out to sea on a Tuna boat?  Ever watched them reel the “catch” in?  (I love that term “catch” when we’re talking about nets that can reel in an entire stadium)

But “they” say it’s “Dolphin Safe”, so it must be!  Right?

The axiom here?  If you spoonfeed enough shit, for a long-enough time span, the masses will not only accept it as normal, but will eventually relish it, and even worship it.

We are still being spoonfed shit, but the media production is far more savvy and convincing.  That “long-enough” caveate is now almost 24 hours.  The “enough” (quantity reference) is now roughly about 3 major networks.  So, using this new media capability with the old axiom, we get an equation as follows:

3n * 24h = MA

This translates into 3 (major) networks, spoon-feeding 24 hours of shit to the public, results in Mass Acceptance as fact and norm.  It’s a perfect formula.  It works for WMDs, invasion plans, bank bail-outs, flu pandemics, vaccine distribution, multi-national treaties, corruption scandals, and so on.  Everyone has an agenda if they (a) have a communication channel, and (b) a budget.  The budget is what ties them to an agenda.  Parent companies, contracts, partnerships, PAC’s, you name it.  There is no such thing as “no strings attached”.  Even those Dolphins know that.  But they’re safe, right?  After all: It says so right on the can.

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