Friday, September 11, 2009

Software is Squishy

Charles Babbage had the right idea. Unfortunately, most computer technology professionals don't have a clue what he intended. The idea behind "software" was "soft" (pliable, flexible, malleable) and "ware" (tool, construct, device). The uncoupling or de-coupling of hardware and the instruction or controlling mechanism. The goal being to make the overall system or combination of the two greater than the sum of either alone. Greater because the software component would by nature be adaptable and extensible, allowing the the hardware to be exploited over a longer functional lifespan than if hard-coded as a monolithic contraption.

The problem is IT professionals bitch all the time about hotfixes, upgrades and so on. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch. SHUT UP! It's what software was meant to do. It was conceived, concocted and designed to be adaptable. Add to that the fact that it is written by humans. Yes, as shocking as that is to hear, it is true. It doesn't grow in fields under the sun and get harvested by migrant workers who are paid 10 cents a week and live in shacks next to buckets they crap in.

It is written by obnoxious, prima donna kids who can't drive, have more friends on MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, and FriendFeed than in real (physical) life. They live on energy drinks, sugary foods and sushi and know the word "exercise" as a term for practicing a procedure at work or as a classroom assignment. They work for managers who don't know the difference between PHP and C#, and think Ruby on Rails is someone named Ruby riding the train. The result is going to have defects, shortcomings, bugs, glitches, quirks and "features", all of which will require the occassional update/hotfix/patch/service pack and upgrade. Get used to it. Stop bitching. STFU. Thank you. Be glad you don't dig ditches or do any "real" work for that pay check.
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