Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Busting a Few Myths

Some of the absurd folklore I’ve heard lately that I wanted to “address”, if I may…

Myth: Using Human Shampoo on Dogs is Bad for Them

This is a creature that, very often, eats the feces left generously behind by other creatures.  Namely cats.  They often roll in their own dung, dig holes in the yard (or better: neighbor’s yard), and will eat almost anything that humans would consider “spoiled” or “rotten”.  Even if your particular canine doesn’t partake in these entertaining hobbies, they will very likely drink from the toilet if they get thirsty.  I can’t think of a human that would voluntarily drink from a toilet, even if they were dehydrated to the point of death.  Yet, somehow, for some reason, using “our” shampoo on them is “bad”.  Yeah.  Sure.  Ok.  Whatever. 

This myth is completely busted.  No logic exists to make this true.

Myth: Watering Your Lawn at Night Will Kill It

I’ve heard this twice.  Both times in a circle of people all nodding in agreement as if it were scientific fact.  The rationale is always the same: watering at night allows the moisture to sit on the blades of grass without evaporating and promotes mildew and mold and kills the grass.  So, I ask the same question:  So, every time it rains at night, your lawn dies the next day?  “No, because that’s natural water” they say.  Natural water (whatever that is, water is water, it’s the foreign ingredients that vary, not the water), is supposedly healthier?  It has magical anti-bacterial properties?  Wrong!  It contains far more organic matter and contaminants (bacteria, etc.) than tap water does, and tap water contains Chlorine, Fluoride and a host of other treatment chemicals to (get this) stave off the growth of bacteria and other organisms.   So how can putting tap water on grass, at night, promote bacteria growth, yet rain water will not?

Another myth completely busted.

Myth: Cell Phones Cause Automotive Accidents

No, idiots cause accidents.  Idiots are people who can’t multitask, yet still insist on trying it at the worst possible times.  Take away their cell phone, and they will be distracted by their radio controls, or talking to the poor helpless victim in the passenger seat.  You know, the kind of person that, for whatever reason, simply HAS to turn their head and face you and make eye contact in order to have a conversation?  Those people.  They can’t talk and wipe their ass at the same time.  They can’t turn off the faucet while brushing their teeth, and so on.  Yes, these are the people that even if you take away their scissors, they will fall on a spoon and hurt themselves.  So, go ahead and let them ban cell phones, but watch the statistical data and you will absolutely see for yourself that the number of automotive accidents will not decline, it will continue to rise.

Another myth busted, but I’m sure some of you will still think it stands

Myth: Cats are Smarter Than Dogs

My dog totally disagrees.  Myth is absolutely busted.

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