Thursday, January 29, 2009

Dave's Proposed Law #2009-01-28-01: Drive Right or Stay Home

Proposed:   Motor vehicles with non-Virginia license plates are not to be permitted on Interstate highways on regular business days of the week, between the hours of 5:00 AM and 7:00 AM.

Normally, on weekdays before 6:00 AM, traffic flows through the I-64 corridor (between Norfolk and Hampton, via the HRBT) at a comfortable 70 MPH.  After 6:00 AM it slows to 60-65 MPH on average.  After 6:30 AM it's lucky to reach 60 MPH for more than a mile at a time. 

This morning's commute sucked.  It seemed that at every turn there was a car going 50 MPH or (maybe, barely) 55 MPH.  Every single one of these vehicles had plates from other states.  Minnesota, Florida, Delaware, Ohio, Michigan, Delaware.  People from other states:  LOOK AROUND YOU.  If others are moving at a faster rate, speed up to match them.  It will benefit everyone.  We will get to our destinations sooner and in a better mood, therefore making us more productive and "customer-friendly".

The next time you're on the phone with a rude, obnoxious customer rep, it may be because slowpokes aggravated the living shit out of them on their way into their dead-end job.  That person you cut off and gave the finger to?  They're probably the same person that called you at 9:00 AM to nag you about not paying your bills on time.  Or maybe they are the cold, emotionless, uncaring support person you're desperately begging for help.  Do us all a favor and drive right or get the f**k off the f**king road.  Thank you for your cooperation.
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