Politics for 9 Year Olds

So, my son asks me one day in the van: "What's the difference between Democrats and Republicans?"

I thought about it for a moment, while casually shifting lanes so as not to run over the homeless guy crossing the blvd without looking. Then shifting back to avoid the woman in the Hummer putting on make-up in the mirror, with both hands, at 45 MPH. Then I said the following:

"Well, son, Republicans like rich people mostly because they have the money to make things happen. The like to be 'conservative', which means change is bad unless it really is necessary. Nothing is broke so why fix it? The only broken things are the Democrats, and they can be fixed by replacing them. They use the term 'trickle-down economics' to describe how they feel the rich take care of all the rest of us, so 'big government' shouldn't get in their way."

"Democrats feel that everything is broken. Everything. So everything needs fixing, starting with adding things you don't like and cutting things you do. Fairness is the top rule, which usually means protecting the stupid so they can't fail at anything. Rich people should be made less rich because it's not fair to be rich when so many others are poor."

He made no expression, nor did he ask any questions for a few minutes. And then...

"Who's right?" he asked.

"Until you hit your late teens, you'll think whoever your parents like is 'right'. Then you hit 18 or so, and anything your parents like is 'wrong', until you hit your thirties and you start to rethink that again. When you hit your 40's you realize there is no 'right' or 'wrong' political party. They're all a bunch of sucky liars and finger-pointers and only care about padding their own incomes and retirement plans. And you realize that people who vote along 'party lines' are complete idiots who are easily distracted by shiney objects."

He nodded in agreement. Life is good for now.